Open Poetry #22 |
You are human too.... (long, emotional...and real) |
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
You asked her why? Why now, why him, just simply why.. Silence cut the still air as hearts thudding headlong fell into a shattering of blubbering emotions.. Eyes said it.. The emptiness, lack of gleam. Lifeless eyes. She thought.... a quivering lip, sideways glance twirling of the ring, our ring.. A death borne sigh escaping These were her words... He never told me, told me he cared He never held me, held me and shared. He always did just what he might Never home at dinner, late nights. He never wanted to say he did. Always scolded like a small kid. He often spoke only one word This was all that I ever heard. I cannot be the mistress too I cannot feel what I can’t do. I don’t want to be second choice I want a home, I have a voice. He stood there, a tear falling as his lips quivered as well He bowed his head, recalling thoughts she said, did tell. These were his words: I know she needs more than I gave I know she is not just my slave. I treated her as I would a dog. I called her worse than would a hog. I cannot tell her not to go I cannot say I didn’t know. Her eyes have said for very long That she was right, that I was wrong. I have been saying all along I was so weak, and her so strong. Now I will ask for her to let me let her go, let her forget. For she now needs a man who will give her his love, not make her ill. I have not learned yet how to say How much I needed her each day. I sat there silent with my male pride I sat there fuming, feelings I’d hide. I acted selfish, so insensitive. I never asked, I didn’t give. And now I give her what she deserves. To be treated as an equal, to be loved and served. She is a woman, a human being too. I want her happiness, I truly do... Goodbye beautiful woman....you deserve the best... This is fictional, but reflects much truth... [This message has been edited by Magnus (09-02-2002 05:11 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Barry - fictional or not, it's so true. And now I give her what she deserves. To be treated as an equal, to be loved and served. She is a woman, a human being too. I want her happiness, I truly do... Just a little extra is all it takes to give to show someone that one cares. Just a little... BC |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I like this a lot Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Barry So many relationships end just like this and for these reasons. Again you write with sensitive, the truth. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Barry, this touches me. As a woman in a bad space, I identify with her here. Sad that things get to this point, and love gets cast aside from neglect. Strong writing. Sandra |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggssssss) Oh Barry, this is wonderful, sweet friend, it saddens me to see so many women being treated unfairly throughout history, for we all are one, and it doesn't matter what gender or race or creed we are, we are all human and we deserve to treat each other as one deserves to be treated! (sigh) This is powerfully sensitive, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Barry, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
But soft what light shines in the East, tis wisdom clothed in the words of poetry and tis very real. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Magnus darling heart as always your writing is superb when it is clothed in a gown of golden wisdom it is stunning. Truly excellent So often the promises of heart are lost in the soul of tomorrow, and you’ve written this beautifully. Exquisite writing, utterly utterly exquisite. The flow of this is excellent, and the rhyme and meter are absolutely spot on. Beautifully presented my friend absolutely beautiful, you know I love this one utterly utterly utterly. One of your utter best. Love and warm stuff As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Kitty** Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 428Charlottesville,VA USA |
Magnus.... I can't believe that you wrote the story of my marriage...Every word you wrote was so true for me, and I'm sure there are others that could say the same thing. Be it a man or woman..But don't we all come through it for the better ? I have and I've never had regrets! Thanks so much for having the insight you do!! Kitty * That which gives light, must endure burning * |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Thanx....but it becomes easy to write when you can reflect backwards in time to another moment in your own life when things were too very similar to those I wrote of... One difference....I tried to change me so that I didn't have to let her go...Though, I would have...had she asked to... And I did change a lot of me, with yet some room for improvement... And yes, life is not a bowl of cherries and IS a two way street.... Thanx to all, I hope I have given something to each.... |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
So many thoughts flashed through my heart as I read this piece. Experiences in my own life...and the learning curve of youth...he to become the man, and she to let him. Beautifully captured the coming of age. ThisDiamond |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Very powerful write Barry. I think we can all see ourselves perhaps even just a little in here... makes ya stop and think.... Excellent work. ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Barry, You covered the ground very well. What next? |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
very sad, and yet.....hits very close to home......peace my friend.... Lauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Magnus - this is a wonderful piece of work. Makes me remember some hard times though...but also the realization of the unselfish love I experience now. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
This may be fictional Barry, but it holds volumes of truth. Great write! |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
There is much truth here. If only it were so easy to realize when it happens, and not when it's done. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
maggie...this is stonger'n than Balladeer's breath...I really, truly like this...the way you did it and what you said....superb....(I don't often compliment this much unless it was very good)...and rarely compliment without a smart ass remark.... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Magnus---If only they had communicated those thoughts to each other before....... I think you did a masterful job with this one. The way you presented the two sides had tremendous impact. Linda |
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Tammy Blessing Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 366PA |
Wow!! That's EXACTLY how I felt before my divorce.. I'm sooo glad this is fictional. I'm also very honored to "meet" you and know what a wonderful person you are. You are wonderful to have seen the problems, and you are wonderful for working to change them. I hope your wife appreciates you. Peace,love,light and happiness Tammy |
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