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Open Poetry #22
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Take me Down to Clay
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Take me Down to Clay |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Take me Down to Clay Within the bright white day the sky is milking clouds on neglect I can see the spent wisps as the drain opens and empties its curious mix around and about a tree Across the parch of pavement the sirens are calling the dogs to be sentinels of sound to howl ears pricked catching each other’s echo as the valley hop-scotches and the heat waves are chalked to catch the first drop Oh I await the cement moan and the drum beat the slowly moving drift of it My skin cracks like parchment and rustles with the scratch of empty ink tray waiting for the touch of moist fingers to take me down to clay |
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| © Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, You don't get that serious very often, enjoyed the read.  |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Martie - excellent write. Moist are the rains that fall, to take me down to clay... BC |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Sis, you are just so danged good !!! I Suwannee you just keep making scenery-of-life, literally come to life~  May the gentle rains of September continue to romp you through soft poetic puddles~ LOVE YOU~ ~*Me*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (big hugggssssss) Oh Martie, may your heart grow as moist as clay and form happily with enchantment and purification! (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I trust the clay may break the mold... this is so filled with imagery... it's one of a kind... like you! |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Martie, this is beyond excellent writing...it's a welcome surprise to see you writing in this tone. I'm keeping this!~ Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Martie... Very well done. Enjoyed...Paul Sweet necter from clouds above satisfy our thirst we ask God above [This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (09-01-2002 09:00 PM).] |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
a willingness to be born again the metaphor is a powerful one and makes it easier to envision why we sometimes must be broken and washed in order to become new very lovely I think I should love to write a piece with this theme; if I named you as my inspiration, would you mind? And should I become the master poet in someone's mind because of it, then what should I do? Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy--I feel like I am always serious..sometimes more. Thank you for enjoying this. Bill--Still could use the rain...the thunderhead over the mountains became a fire cloud yesterday and has been burning all night. Marge--I think I need your raindance again...seems no gentle rain appeared, and lightning struck in our mountains and started a very bad fire. A big rain would be best if you can fix that. Noah--Thank you, my friend...I would love to breathe some fresh air instead of smoke. Karilea--What a lovely thing to say..you always do that. Melissa--A surpise is nice sometimes...as your reply is to me...as I hadn't looked at this poem in that way. Thank you sincerely! Paul--Thank you so much for stopping by. Virginia--Yes, of course you can write a piece with this theme...I would be pleased to have inspired more writing with my words. Thank you! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
WELL, here is my thoughts on this.... Go get the garden hose....point it straight up in the air..... dance in circles a few times, chant some weird chant....say a short silent prayer to the mountain god high above your head.....and tell all the dogs and the other howl ears to be a little quieter.... Hot day? Surely not.... Hot poem, as usual...YEP..... Excellent Write Smartie/M. |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
Unused fashioned first from clay returned after use, to dust it is a late rain's lament that forces out man's rust Late rains are serious biz, Martian. Have a splendid vaca, gal! jeff |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
WOW, Martie... just Wow. You're an amazing poet, you know that don't you? big smiles here Maree |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Just had to come back and have another read.. the imagery is fantastic Martie... absolutely! I wanna write like you. Maree |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This is awesome, Martie... your best...and its all extremely excellent... I just love the idea of the parch turning to clay from the cool rains... I hope you get lots of rain...but I hope that it doesn't thin your clay too much... ~ cooling rainy hugsLyra |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Martie...you are such an amazing writer!! All the superlatives have been used... So I shall just say... beautifully penned sweet poetess. ~Hugs~ |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Me thinks you've used the heat to your advantage... Just goes to show that when the temperature rises it can bring out the best in us. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh.my.god. Do this more often, Martie. I mean it - this is good..very very good. Brittle, tight, like reading razor wire. Does that make sense? lol..prolly not. I also don't think anything should be changed, truly. This poem just..exist..as it should be. Was it one of those ones you felt was already written and you were merely the messenger?  K |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
This reminds me so much of how it feels to wait for good news to come, or just to feel something other than the day to day drudgery of life. How when that expectation is long in finding fulfillment, the "parched" feeling in your soul that just sighs, when that news comes or that moment of refreshment, how renewed you feel! Loved this Martie, it is deep with meaning so artistically penned! Bravo! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
This is poetry...thought-provoking, full of meaning.... Linda |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This is classic poetry from one of my favourites... really enjoyed... this is Martiesque.... Regards to you Martie, Sudhir |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
How thirsty the earth in the hope of rain... You are amazing poet! Enjoyed this piece very much. ThisDiamond |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - you write so powerfully with such feeling and with so many images - this is wonderful poetry - thanks for the gifts you share with us - Paul |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Martie, Yes, it was too bloody hot this weekend. Mike |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nice imagery... and written so one could feel the desire for rain...and a cooling off.. funny..we are all clay and melt in different ways with different amounts of moisture. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
I think I'll start off a second page. I love this Martie! Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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