Open Poetry #22 |
I'M ON ANOTHER DIET! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I'm on another diet! He quips, "What else is new?" --"Don't be so darn sarcastic, Just eat YOUR dumpling stew!" Munching on this carrot stick, With dreams of being slim, I wonder why he's not fat, As he shovels it all in! He can eat all he wants, And never gain a pound, If I ate all, that he consumed, My shape would be quite round! He says that he just burns it off, Through nervous en-er-gy, If that were true, I'd be thin too, But I'm not it's plain to see! I'm always on a diet! It simply isn't fair, 'Cause he looks great, And in fine shape, And I look like a pear! When I pass up, a rich dessert, Topped with pure whipped cream, He'll eat HIS and ask for MINE ---It makes me want to scream! When I am on a diet, I am in MIS-ER-Y! So please have some compassion, DON'T EAT IN FRONT OF ME! |
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© Copyright 2002 Linda L. Dowd - All Rights Reserved | |||
WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
I laughed and giggled all the way through. But I feel your pain. Diet's Suck! I need a bumpersticker that says that. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
WhiteRose----Hey, maybe we could go into business together---making those bumper stickers! Linda |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
hehehehe my daughter is having great success pound wise by looking at the pyramid chart of recommended daily portions...she's been using the lower number for weight loss and limiting fats, especially cholesterol which is near zero in her regimen, the results: she's lost 30 pounds in 3 months, however, her cholesterol has gone up and that is very discouraging for her btw, White Rose, if dieting 'sucks' better be careful where you put that straw, it could be fattening, hehehehe Earth Angel...this seems to be the story of my life, well, till the skinny person moved away. I hear, though skinny, he has terrible cholesterol. It's a conundrum, all of it! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
VAS---thanks for the diet tips! Actually, I have been having success with my weightloss by just avoiding sugar (thank goodness for aspartaine!), working out at the gym, hiking, cycling, decreasing my fat intake, and avoiding salt where possible so I don't blow up like a balloon---especially in hot weather! I don't think I'll ever get back to the girlish figure of my modeling days, but what the hay!---I'm not a 'girl' anymore---I'm a full-grown woman now!---Ain't that the truth! Ha! Ha! Ha! As always, thanks for your input! Linda |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggssssss) Oh Linda, I understand how hard a diet must be, I too think it is unfair eating in front of someone like that, but I hope you reach your goal! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Linda, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
A new ice cream has hit our town and it's wonderful! Blue Bunny brand, I found it first at Wal-Mart, but now Red Apple is carrying it. Although, I've not looked to see if they carry the "No Sugar Added" variety that is at Wal-Mart. It is reduced fat, also. This ice cream is sweetened with "Splenda" which tastes ever so much more real than aspartame! I was given several packets by a friend when I told her how much better this ice cream was than other brands. Now I've baked a pie and made homemade pudding using Splenda. It says it measures like sugar, but I used about 1/4 to 1/3 as much Splenda as the recipe said for sugar and it was plenty sweet enough. I'm really sold! No aftertaste! So now, we just need to get someone to make diet pop with splenda. Of course, then you still have to deal with the sodium. Just to assure, I get no residuals from Splenda for the foregoing commercial. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Noah----again I thank you for your understanding ways. From your photo, there appears to be no need for you to ever have to do the "D" word! You look great! Linda |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
VAS----Thanks for the ice cream tip----I hope I can find it up here! If it's unavailable----maybe you and I could make our own brand and flood the market with advertizing. Hey, you could advertize our ice cream with your other ads for Splenda! LOL Nice to hear from you again! Linda |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Earth Angel - I don't want to diet, I want to eat. All those nice things like candy, cake, and ice cream. But diet one must, if only to stay trim. I need myself to get back in a gym.... hehehe.... BC |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Linda I loved the humour in this one and I'm sure so many can relate. Take care.....Sue I am in motion |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Bill----We can still eat our tasty treats but I'm making sure mine have aspartaine. VAS has now put me onto Splenda which apparently tastes even better. I'm going to check out some of those products. You sound a lot like me. I'm passionate about eating! I love my food! But I'm passionate about everything I do! I like people who are filled with passion for living and live it with gusto! I'm just glad there is aspartaine around so I can indulge my sweet tooth! Linda |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Sue---Thank you for appreciating the humour in it. I actually sound like a bit of a bitch in it----I'm not really a bitch, I'm a BITCH! Just kidding! I'm actually quite sweet and mellow---Magnus can attest to that! Linda |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Linda... You used to be a model? Why isn't your pic posted here? I use Splenda all the time... its actually made from real sugar but somehow they've taken the calories out of it and it tastes much much better than aspartame...which also happens to give me headaches. Its just not fair is it, that we can't eat all we want to. My daughter in law just lost 120 lbs through L.A. Weightloss. She has worked really hard for it though... My late first husband was like your husband... he could just shovel it in and he never gained an ounce.. but David, my second husband has to watch his weight more than I do... I think its amusing... of course, he doesn't. Thanks for sharing your cute kvetchy poem with us... and good luck with your diet. ~ hugs and carrots Lyra |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
LMAO I know how this feels. Good poem Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Lyra----My hats off to your daugter-in-law! That is an absolutely incredible weight loss---it's a whole person! God bless her! Hugs and carrots to you too, oh sweet one! Linda |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Loner---Glad you enjoyed it!---Sorry you can identify with it! Isn't dieting a pain! Linda |
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