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Open Poetry #21
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suthern
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Louisiana

0 posted 2002-06-26 12:38 PM


An unexpected, uninvited knock fell on my door
I’d not have let you in if I had known what was in store
But memories still mattered, made it hard to turn away
And I thought I’d give the chance for you to have your say.
But my friend of days remembered must not still exist
Or perhaps you thought your offer simply too great to resist?
You’re quite smart and all these years, I thought that you were able
To see that I am worth much more than mere crumbs from your table.
She’s there, I’m here... you’re somewhere just muddling in the middle
Sorry, I don’t harmonize well playing second fiddle!
It would be a waste of bullets to give what’s deserved
But I’ll tell you, mister, you have got colossal nerve!
I smiled as you exited - you’ll never know the cost
Unless someday you recognize just how much you’ve just lost.

© Copyright 2002 suthern - All Rights Reserved
Madame Chipmunk
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since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
1 posted 2002-06-26 12:41 PM


I smiled as you exited - you’ll never know the cost
Unless someday you recognize just how much you’ve just lost.

Sounds like a smart move to me, Suthern...
I enjoyed your poem...

~ smart woman hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Toerag
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
2 posted 2002-06-26 12:41 PM


Okay...next time I'll use the doorbell...
Krishankins
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Texas
3 posted 2002-06-26 12:43 PM


"Sorry, I don't harmonize playing second fiddle"

That's  good!!  

Love it,
Krishankins

your 100grit love is smoothing my soul

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2002-06-26 12:46 PM


Suthern,
You write so well and I enjoy your every read
But the subject matter here was not my pleasures need. I would wish to see you happy as happy as a lark and not to read those words of so very very dark. Be happy

suthern
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Louisiana
5 posted 2002-06-26 01:05 PM


Madame: The preferred alternative is probably illegal... no matter how justified it seems to me! LOL Hugs back to you... and many thanks. *S*

Toerag: ROFL... Sweets, if you're ever at my door, g'head and knock, ring the bell, yell, tear it down... just make sure I know you're there... and don't have any plans for leaving. *G* SMOOCH! *S*

Krishankins: That line existed long before the reason for the poem... so I'm very glad it fit in and found a home. *G* Thank you very much for reading. *S*

Seymour: I'm trying, dear friend... but pages of the past still flip open from time to time... and then again, I don't tend to write when I'm happy so the very fact that pen is in hand tends to make the drawing dark. *S* Thank you!

[This message has been edited by suthern (06-26-2002 01:06 PM).]

Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
6 posted 2002-06-26 01:31 PM



So glad I saw your responses to know that you are indeed all right, and this is just a flippit from the past...[you had me worried there for a minute, suthern...that's not nice, to fool the Sun...]

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

7 posted 2002-06-26 01:57 PM


restraint required, is a perfect title, for if ever someone deserverd a whack from your bat it would be this one....love the smile on your face at the end
as bad as it is when a 'friend' falls on their face (tongue protruding), its twice as good when we stand up PROUD

Interloper
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Deep in the heart
8 posted 2002-06-26 02:01 PM


This was GR8.
By the title, I thought they were bringing the white jacket for Toe.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Martie
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California
9 posted 2002-06-26 02:44 PM


Strong words, suthern...the standing tall kind..much enjoyed!  
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2002-06-26 02:45 PM


Sorry, I don't harmonize well playing second fiddle!
It would be a waste of bullets to give what's deserved

But I'll tell you, mister, you have got colossal nerve!
I smiled as you exited - you'll never know the cost
Unless someday you recognize just how much you've just lost.
================================

Dont they know NOT to mess with a Texan!!
And this ones packing heat!!
So is her pen!! Love the defiance and strength I see in this Ruth-girlie...some wont ever "get it" not even with a "gun to their head" ...
love the turn of phrase and word play in this clever write as well...and as always the heart hitting expression of your emotions set to rhyme are there in those closing lines of impact.
I hope this teaches Balladeer a lesson not to mess with you LOL

When your own emptiness is all thats getting through,
There comes a point when youre not sure why youre still talking,
I passed that point long ago.

J. K. Mitchell
Member
since 2002-01-12
Posts 311
GA
11 posted 2002-06-26 02:47 PM


  You deserve a standing ovation!  You tell him girl!  Don't let him think he can waltz back into your life whenever he pleases.  

Outstanding!  

"The only love there is, is the love we make."--Prince

Kitty**
Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 428
Charlottesville,VA USA
12 posted 2002-06-26 02:55 PM


WAY TO GO GIRL !!!!
I really liked this !

Kitty

If you can't make it so,
you need to let it go!

my3monkeytoes
Member
since 2002-05-11
Posts 152
In the Carolina Breeze
13 posted 2002-06-26 03:00 PM


Mmmm Mmmmm Bravo, dear!  This is magnificently strong.  For some reason, I'm thinking it flowed quickly and easily through your "pen".  Good Job!  And remember, you are here because of where you've been!

Big High Fivers!

~Sydney McLean

Sven
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14 posted 2002-06-26 04:34 PM


great work my friend. . . you're finding your own voice much stronger now I see. . . keep it up. . .



----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
15 posted 2002-06-26 05:31 PM


When I feel like I am in the middle emotionally I start to disconnect to give me the power to physically disconnect...
It doesn't take long at all when you start feeling that the other person is being dishonest or half hearted with you...James

suthern
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Louisiana
16 posted 2002-06-26 05:35 PM


Sunshine: Are clouds the result of a Sun's worrying? *G* You're a dear... and I apologize profusely for any worry wrinkles I caused. *S*

jellybeans: This one fell with a major SPLAT! LOL And whatever was deserved, it'd be a shame to waste a perfectly good baseball bat on the likes of him... especially since I need it operational to keep Toe's fan club under some semblance of control! LOL

Interloper: ROFL!!! If that was the case, I'd be holding out my arms, begging to tag along! LOL Thank you so much! *S*

Martie: Should I confess that the standing tall only lasted until the door was shut and locked? *G* But the wailing was from MAD, not hurt. *S* Thank you... glad you enjoyed!

Janet Marie: Now wait jes a minute there, ma'am. *G* I may reside and work in Texas, but please understand it's done under protest... I'm NOT a Texan! LOL Perish the thought! *G* Thank you very much for those kind words... I'm ROFL @ teaching Bal a lesson. *G*

J.K. Mitchell: What a wonderful response! *S* Thank you so much... I'm truly grateful! *S*

Kitty: Thank you very much... I'm so glad! *S*

my3monkeytoes: You're absolutely right... it had been boiling in my brain and a poem erupted. *G* Thank you so much... high fives are greatly appreciated! *S*

Sven: But I'm still pouting that no really GREAT comments came to me until the situation was over and done... slow wits strike again. *G* Thank you!

Thank you all so very much... I've had so little time to read and respond in the past few days that I'd not intended to post... but my fingers seemed to have a mind of their own. *S* I appreciate your responses more than I can say... and will be back to reading and responding just as soon as I can. *S* Thank you!!!

James Michael: Or both. *S* I missed your response while I was typing... thanks for reading!

[This message has been edited by suthern (06-26-2002 05:48 PM).]

Marsha
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17 posted 2002-06-26 07:28 PM


Suthern darling girl firstly this is utterly utterly excellent writing and I love it, you pack in so much truth and determination into this and I can see clearly that you are finding your way back. Oh how well I know this dreadful place, it may have been a long time ago but I don’t think you can ever forget the pain you lived through. Although I sometimes think I should thank him for teaching me a few lessons, admittedly they are lessons I didn’t want to learn but nevertheless I did learn them.

Absolutely excellent writing, if ever you need a helping hand darling girl you know all you need do is reach out and touch and we who love you will be there reaching back.

Take care of you darling heart YOU are very important and your writing is exquisite


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

Mistletoe Angel
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18 posted 2002-06-26 07:40 PM




(big huggssssssss) Oh Suthern, I'm so sorry about how you feel, but I do believe you made the right move; if he can't reach out to you and truly feel for you then he doesn't deserve you! (sad sigh) Keep your chin up, sweet friend, you will find what your heart desires and true happiness will be yours, our thoughts are with you, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Suthern, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
19 posted 2002-06-27 12:39 PM


Excellent. A very strong voice in this. I like.

Cor

Toerag
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
20 posted 2002-06-27 12:56 PM


Just in case you see this suthern....cannot access yahoo mail....at all!!! I think the federal courts have intercepted my link cuz I said something about God...
suthern
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21 posted 2002-06-27 12:58 PM


Toerag: Thanks, sweets... I was wondering. *S* Check back when you can... I'll be watching for you. SMOOCH!
suthern
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Louisiana
22 posted 2002-06-27 01:04 PM


Marsha: There's something about those lessons learned from a real jerk... the experience is devastating, but if you survive, later jerk-wannabees don't stand a chance! LOL Thank you very much... my writing is blushing from such compliments. *S*

M'toe: Chin's up, fists are ready... and I've got a mean kick if I can keep my balance and not fall on my face! LOL Thank you so much... your kindness is always appreciated. *S*

Corinne: I'm very glad you like... thank you very much for reading! *S*

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
23 posted 2002-06-27 01:10 PM


There is nothing as odd
As a man who thinks he's God
yet cannot open his eyes
to such treasure and surprise..

Great imagery...

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Mark Bohannan
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since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
24 posted 2002-06-27 01:18 PM


What's this??  Strength and conviction?  Well said and ya can't believe how happy I am to see this side of you.  Not that I ever doubted ya had in yerself!! Great write and wonderful choice of words (ya know ... the safe kind).  Two line rhyme is one of my favorites though I don't usually follow that format.  I think maybe it has something to do with the long windedness to tie something together that keeps me from getting there too often.  So nice to see you posting and believe it or not..................I HAVE A HOME NOW. LOL
Take care of yourself and don't stray too far from the forums.  BTW ... I was gonna stop by to say HOWDEE, but after readin' this, I think I will leave your door alone.

Marge Tindal
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25 posted 2002-06-27 09:36 PM


SweetSuthernGal~
You know that I know that this is GREAT !
LOL .. pistol-packing Mama ..
You are just something else !

(Bathtub offer's still open !)
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

BloomingRose
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since 2000-08-09
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Florida
26 posted 2002-06-27 09:44 PM


Now that's the way to say it all!

Deb

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
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27 posted 2002-06-27 09:50 PM


smiling achoo...

"Sorry, I don’t harmonize well playing second fiddle!"

A wonderful stomp of poetic foot here, Ruth!
Loved it.

Marsha
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28 posted 2002-07-24 08:40 PM


Suthern darling heart sister of my soul and writer of life’s truths and wisdom, your thoughts and words in this simply leave me agog. Truly exquisite writing darling girl, deeply felt words and the emotion from within simply is awesome. I love it utterly utterly utterly.

Admittedly I love all your writing but, sometimes something especially you pops out the inkwell and this is a gem, something very special.

I know, I know, but I love the power in this one and its been one of those days when I need a little bit of power in my tail feathers. Worry not darling heart, nothing dreadful I was just outbid on something I wanted on EBay No really it was something I needed honestly. Okay I’ll live without it I s’pose

I really do love this one, darling heart, it is so gutsy, and so you, exquisite writing absolutely exquisite.

I swear I can see the look on the face of the king jerk as you shut the door, I bet even now he’s asking what did I do wrong?

I love it love it love it utterly love it

I wub you

Love and warm stuff
As always
Slushy


Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

suthern
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Louisiana
29 posted 2002-07-25 04:14 PM


My apologies to those I didn't thank in a timely manner... I came back from vacation, cleaned out my email... and promptly forgot I needed to respond to this poem? LOL Hey... I'm blonde yanno! LOL

kayjay: What a wonderful response! *S* I thank you very much. *S*

Mark: You expect me to believe that, knowing how you hate Texas and everything in it? LOL Not to fear... friends are always welcome at my door... it's the pretenders to the designation that are another matter entirely. *S* Glad you have a place to hang your hat... that tumbleweed was probably tired of tumbling. *S*

Marge: Pistol??? LOL What sorta wimp do you take me for anyway? *G* I'll have you know it's a twenty-two four-ten over and under... and it works even if it is older than I am! LOL As for the offer... I'm hoping I'll need it! *S* Thank you!

Blooming Rose: Thank you! *S*

serenity: Now if only his foot had been under that stomp! LOL Thank you!

Marsha: LOL @ power in your tail feathers... what an image that is!!! LOL I used to be an eBay regular... but all the books I want are too expensive for me to do anything but yearn. *S* Thank you for your return visit... but you know that jerks don't ever think they did anything wrong. *S* If he's asking questions, he's probably wondering what's wrong with ME! LOL

Marsha
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Maidstone Kent England
30 posted 2002-08-13 08:36 PM


Suthern darling heart your ability to evoke atmosphere is one of the reasons your writing stands out from others. Where some writers can display your ability to write in perfect-metered rhyme few others can paint the scene so clearly. Even fewer can display your depth of writing skill.

You know I positively adore this, it is so brilliantly written and only you could have placed each of the words in this poetic dance of wordy power. Exquisite darling heart utterly exquisite

Yes I know it’s my third visit, I’m allowed I’ve got a note……….. no its true I have, I wrote it myself, it says I have to bump this because Krissy wants to reply and needs help finding it. Darling heart she can’t help it she has something wrong with her fingers, she’ll have just done her nails. See how well I know her? Naturally enough for a mummy


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the earthquake wind and fire

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
31 posted 2002-08-21 03:39 PM


Marsha: I don't believe I've ever had anyone visit one of my poems three times... with the possible exception of Toerag when email has failed us and PIP's our communication lifeline. *S* I am humbled and honored... and I thank you very much. *S*

[This message has been edited by suthern (08-21-2002 03:41 PM).]

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