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Ryan
Member

since 1999-06-10

Posts 297
Kansas

0 posted 2002-06-21 02:14 AM

Fireflies light the field,
then she is
gone again.

RosePetal

Member Elite

since 2001-08-26

Posts 2985
South Florida

1 posted 2002-06-21 02:28 AM

i like it ryan! i hope 2 see more haikus from u

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

2 posted 2002-06-21 03:01 AM

The poetical master lives!  *grins* Structured correctly or not, it still makes me confused about you.

Any plans for tomorrow?  Or tomorrow night?  Or the next day? Wait, I know that one...

Is she invited?  Did she disappear too quickly?  Maybe you should leave her a note for when she comes back.

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

3 posted 2002-06-21 06:21 AM

It certainly is nice to see you here.
I liked this. It has a quiet message too. Simply lovely.

How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so.
~Sarah MacLachlan~

Ryan
Member

since 1999-06-10

Posts 297
Kansas

4 posted 2002-06-21 12:28 PM

Who is she? I dunno. That's a good point, I think I will make that line better sometime. Thanks for the replies.

Ryan

Today is the first day of summer I just noticed, so maybe that makes this a late spring haiku? I dunno.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2002-06-21 10:39 PM

(smiles) Oh Ryan, this is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, I too hope to see many more lovely haikus from you, this is indeed a lovely spring-summer poem, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ryan, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

6 posted 2002-06-21 10:40 PM

Well written.

Cold hands means a warm heart

RosePetal

Member Elite

since 2001-08-26

Posts 2985
South Florida

7 posted 2002-06-22 02:59 AM

its perfect as is! let the readers wonder who "she" is!

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

8 posted 2002-06-22 03:01 AM

well written, loved it

~H~
Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

9 posted 2002-06-22 03:05 AM

this poem speaks in volumes of emotion. a fine little construction you have here.

Ryan
Member

since 1999-06-10

Posts 297
Kansas

10 posted 2002-06-23 01:09 AM

I've thought, and it won't be changing. It is what it is. Thanks again for all the replies. Without them, there wouldn't be any replies.

Ryan

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