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Open Poetry #21
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September sun
| Open Poetry #21 |
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September sun |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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Sleep burns warm within her eyes. A beautied warmth within the cold. Traced out letters in the snow. Wrote to whom I did not know. Pines give scent to scentless space. Graying sky keeps with our pace. Sleep burns softly in her eyes. September sun makes its slow rise. A dimmed gold above the clouds. All the curtains turn to shrouds. Her eyes like candles burn away. What we need is gone today. She said burn ... together. |
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my3monkeytoes Member
since 2002-05-11
Posts 152In the Carolina Breeze |
This is sad, am I right? I'm not real sure, but leaves me feeling...melancholy. Provoked emotion anyway you look at it...good write. ~SM |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Sure did miss the read of you Mike... "Sleep burns warm within her eyes." I love this line...caught me and carried me through your pondering words... so glad I peeked in tonight...  Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
A dimmed gold above the clouds. All the curtains turn to shrouds. Her eyes like candles burn away. What we need is gone today. You write beautifully sad, Mr.Squirrel  ~ cheer up hugs from another rodentLyra |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
Mike, I am speechless! And, the title is sooo cool! Great write!  Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. L.S |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Sleep burns softly in her eyes. September sun makes its slow rise. Damn, I like those lines! Forgetting all I'm lacking |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Like the implications of parallel metaphorical meaning here Mike. Good description of that September sun too! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Glad you all enjoyed my depression. I got September from the fact that when I was in Calgary, the sun didn't set till around 9. Yesterday it occurred to me I could call that the September sun, 'cause it's the 9th month. That made no sense.She said burn ... together. |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
This has a haunting feel to it I think it needs a sequel... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Her eyes like candles burn away. What we need is gone today. powerful writing BS....damn.......good stuff..... I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~~(Garth) |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Glad you both enjoyed. All my poems are sequels of sorts, in that, I couldn't write this one without having written the one before, and the one before that, etc.She said burn ... together. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) This is so very sad, sweet friend, I hope that in the sequel things get better and the candle is lit again somehow, this is heartfelt, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart sweet Michael, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
another beautiful write..... ~~ Connie ~~ |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, everyone. Guess what? Lori-Anne just joined passions. Her name is Anvrill here. So cool!!!She said burn ... together. |
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