The REAL story of LngJohn, Toe & Bal in Saudi Arabia!!

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Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2002-06-19 09:11 PM

Yes, friends, we got arrested and they took us off to jail
And all because that LongJohn tried to raise a woman's veil.
He'd been arrested once before for camel molestation
Though Toe and I were innocent, we all went to the station.

The penalty was death, they said, according to their God
So we were placed against the wall before a firing squad.
Toerag and I stood bravely - LongJohn blubbered like a child
And smelled worse than the stable where the camel dung was piled.

The commandant called, "Ready...Aim....". The soldiers took dead aim
And, just before they put an end to their pathetic game,
Toerag screamed out "Earthquake!!!" When the soldiers looked around
Toerag jumped the wall and he was nowhere to be found!

The commandant was angry but he knew what he would do.
One of us escaped but he would shoot the other two.
The soldiers raised their guns again....I screamed out TORNADO!!!!
As soldiers looked around I ran as fast as I could go!

The commandant was furious! Two prisoners were gone.
The only man against the wall was poor, pathetic John.
But John had watched how Toe and I had beat them at their game
And, ever the crafty sailor, he was going to do the same.

The commandant called, "Ready....Aim" with hatred in his voice.
LongJohn stood there, thinking of which word would be his choice.
He saw the rifles of the soldiers slowly raising higher
And, at the final second, our boy LongJohn screamed out "FIRE!"

[This message has been edited by Balladeer (06-19-2002 09:12 PM).]

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

1 posted 2002-06-19 09:20 PM

Aw mannnn....I can't believe you three guys.
This is hilarious.....Michael, you are gonna
have to let me get into this sooner or later.

Surely one of you needs a little help every
now and then....

this is awesome...enjoyed...thanx 'Deer!

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

2 posted 2002-06-19 09:23 PM

Absolutely and totally hysterical, Michael...
I almost fell off my chair laughing!!!!!

~ still laughing hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

3 posted 2002-06-19 09:24 PM

I needed some laughter to cheer me up! this was funny, as always you tickle my funny bone!

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member

since 2002-01-23

Posts 1056
Kansas USA

4 posted 2002-06-20 12:29 PM

This was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.

Shenachie

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

5 posted 2002-06-20 06:52 AM

’Deer dearest heart Oh that is soooooooo good why is it, do you think that you always manage to raise a smile or as in this case make me laugh out loud. I love it. NO ONE tells a joke or a story better than you do. Absolutely perfect writing, not a syllable out of place, pace absolutely perfect and never does it skip a beat. no wonder Krissy and I call you The Master Craftsman.

This is the perfect poem a warm glow of good humour, and written to perfection. I absolutely love it utterly utterly

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

andEmmamakes3
Member

since 2002-05-11

Posts 66
Kent

6 posted 2002-06-20 07:41 AM

’Deer hello from the pretty and younger mushette, this is really really excellent writing, you always write so well that I expect nothing less, and I’m never disappointed. Wonderful writing you did it again, superbly crafted and brilliant. I know why mum and Krissy adore your writing, it is such a clever mix of wit and skill. Beautifully done, can I have more please?

I’ve been browsing in the archives, and you’ve done re-posts for both mum and Krissy can I have some please? After all its only fair, isn’t it? Pretty please, I’d plead my case a lot more but I’m a miserable pleader. That’s a very old ‘Carry On’ joke, but I can’t do Frankie Howard’s marvellous comic timing

You can and always do, and this is wonderful, thank you muchly

lots of love
Emma

Eternity, stands laughing at old time
for ages? In the grand ancestral line
Of things eternal, mounting to divine

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2002-06-20 07:43 AM

How is it you guys can take such OLD jokes and make 'em new again? Keep it up...it's good to see the gang back together!

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

8 posted 2002-06-20 08:01 AM

(giggles in delight) Ha ha, what a way to live back up to those classic tricks and acts that many would find lame today and revive their meaning! (big hugggsssssss) This is sooooo cute, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Balladeer, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

9 posted 2002-06-20 08:09 AM

Mike,
I could see Long John fall on the floor at the end. You are a master wit.

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

10 posted 2002-06-20 08:57 AM

LOL! Enjoyed this, Balladeer! Did it work for John?

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

11 posted 2002-06-20 11:38 AM

rofl!!!!!

you're the BEST!
hahahahahahaha
i can't stop laughing
help me!!
if i keep laughing aloud like this at work, they might aim to FIRE me for flippin' out on 'em!
phooey michael! just yesterday i got a dress code info email after showing up at work in shorts which i've done every year for 3 years in the summer and nobody said anything until now and when i brought that to their attention, they said that was then, this is now, and it all sounded so familiar, y'know? and now??? geezzzz i'm sitting here crackin'up laughing because you are sooooo funny!!! and if i don't stop, they just might think i don't take my job very seriously so i better move on to go read another thread that isn't by you while i'm taking this little work break, i hope you don't mind, ok?

damn, yer good! got tears runnin down my cheeks

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

12 posted 2002-06-20 04:38 PM

Way to go Balladeer, you and me, we're partners right?...Yep, just like brothers...hunh...you show 'em Balladeer...g'head...I'm right behind ya....

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

13 posted 2002-06-20 05:09 PM

Oh, my Gawd!!!! ROFLMAO!!! I should have known better to read this while sitting at work... there's NOTHING to laugh about on my desk so my guffaws were a dead giveaway (scuse the pun, Long John *G*) that the werk monster didn't have a very good grip on me. *G* And about the time I thought I'd regained some semblance of dignity, I read Toe's "right behind ya" ... and the laughter took control again. LOL

On a scale of 100, I give you 110 on this one... 10 points extra for choosing the right culprit/victim. LOL

[This message has been edited by suthern (06-20-2002 05:12 PM).]

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

14 posted 2002-06-20 06:11 PM

Ha ha Michael....This is just too funny......ROFL!!

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

15 posted 2002-06-20 07:07 PM

So here the life of Long John ended
And to heaven his soul was sended
But they did not want him there you see
"It's on earth that you should really be"

"Because now there's only Balladeer
Toe will be too easy goal we fear
So you'll be send back to help him out
The two of you will get him no doubt"

And we, the audience, sit back and wait
Till LngJhn and Toe will take up the bait
Do not let us down you guys, you hear
We want 'bread and games' for Balladeer

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

16 posted 2002-06-20 08:38 PM

Magnus....the water's fine - but filled with sharks. Jump right in!!

Lyra...don't fall off that chair!! (but keep laughing!) Thanks, sweet lady...

Romantic heart....I shall aim for that funny bone more often! I like it when you smile...

Shenachie...and thank YOU for laughing!

Mushy...glad you like it! LongJohn brings out the beast, er, best in me!

Emma...well, since you are the young, pretty one of the clan, how can I refuse?

Sunshine...wld men have a lot of old jokes at their disposal. Sometimes we can even remember them!

Noah...LOL! Bring back the classics!!

Sy...I'm at least half that!

Smartchick..sure. He's now a man of the highest caliber!

Doreen...don't let me get ya fired! There's obviously not many men working there or they would insist you wear shorts.....just your luck to get stuck with envious women! Glad I brought a smile...

Toerag...right, buddy! With you at my back I know I'm as safe as Ceasar...

Suthern gal...I like having Toe on my side....easier to keep an eye on him that way. Glad I could bring guffaws....you packed yet?

ethome....glad you liked this true account!

Titia...you little devil, trying to get Toe and LngJohn to gang up on me! I don't wanna be arrested for child molestation!!

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