»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #21
»
Balladeer, Toerag, and Long John go to Saudi Arabia"
| Open Poetry #21 |
|
Balladeer, Toerag, and Long John go to Saudi Arabia" |
|
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion 
|
Our Balladeer, Toerag, and Long John Were in Saudi Arabia late one night, They were guzzling booze, and it was wrong, To be drinking it in Allah's sight. The Saudi police rushed in and arrested them, The possession of booze is a serious offense. For this crime they should have been condemned, Their execution to be public six months thence. However, their defense was expertly defended A life sentence was proposed, with no parole. And by luck on the day their trial ended, It was a Saudi holiday! They might be let go! The benevolent Sheik decided they'd only receive Twenty lashes and be publicly disgraced. He was feeling gracious and offered them each One wish before the whip found it's place. Balladeer thought but a second before he replied, "Tie a pillow to my back, if you will." After 10 lashes the whip cut through to his hide, And Balladeer is crying still. Toerag saw how the whip cut our Balladeer, "Tie TWO pillows to my back, I pray." After 15 lashes the whip cut through, it was clear, The way he whimpered as they led him away. As they led away the whining Toerag, He sobbed with quavering breath, "I hope they whip Long John just as bad," "Because his writing is surely the best." When the Sheikh turned to Long John he said, "You are a great poet, the others are cursed." "You may have two wishes for your poems I've read!" Long John bowed to his good taste in verse. "Thank you, your royal Highness," John choked, "For the mercies you've given us, every one." "My first wish is that you give me not 20 strokes," "But 100 for the crime that I've done!" The Sheik was overcome with admiration and awe, Such bravery from an infidel is rare to see. He bowed, "Yes, you recognize what is law!" "You're clearly valiant and will ever be." Long John bowed to the Sheik, then replied, "I'm ready to atone for the judgement I lack." "Now that I've seen how the whip is applied," "Please tie that rascal Toerag to my back!" Heh - That Toerag is always ready for seconds. |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
LOL Very good Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, sailor... you are an underhanded, conniving, self-serving and exceedingly naughty boy who doesn't hesitate to stoop lower than a snake's belly... how poor Toe suffers for choosing such nefarious companions. *G* But you sure did brighten my afternoon. LOL Hiya, scalawag... it sure is good to see you! *S* |
||
|
Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
They tied Toerag to LongJohn's back, LongJohn giggled with glee, Then they strapped them both to the rack Blindfolded where neither could see. LongJohn laughing and sneering But they strapped them backwards to the rack, Toerag sweating and tearing, LongJohn awaits the whack Then the whip crossed LongJohn's front And before he started welting Toerag laughed right out loud LongJohn became a gelding! [This message has been edited by Toerag (06-20-2002 03:36 PM).] |
||
|
elfin_tigress Member
since 2002-05-15
Posts 101Someplace |
 Quite funny! |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
ROTFLMBO...... Awesome comeback, or is that "come forward", Toe! |
||
|
Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
 Lyra |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
LJA, You realy do have a pirate sense of humor. LOL Enjoyed |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Maybe you guys should go to Paris next time...they are a little more lenient although the gendarmes did grab me and my friends one fine evening for making too much noise as we walked by their station...James |
||
|
Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
So they lashed them fellows quite hard Because they were quenching their thirst Take this lesson now close to heart Never forget to read the guidelines first  Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
||
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I am laughing so hard, I can hardly type this... This is awesome! Poor 'Deer and Toerag.... Long John.... YOU WIN!!!!! Superb, no bout a doubt it.... |
||
|
ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Deliriously funny Garfield |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
LngJhn No matter what, it's always good to see a sailor home from the sea! |
||
|
SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Giggling! Poor Balladeer and Toerag! |
||
|
Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Well done sailor...of course you know what this means.....WAR!!! |
||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Now, everybody in here knows I wouldn't tell this story story if it wasn't at least a little true *innocent blinking eyes* BTW - Toerag and 'Deer got everything they deserved. |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Here I am a'sneaking Behind the werk monster's back I had to see dear Toe's response To such a dastardly attack... And now I am a'smiling And icing down lots of beer Punishment's only my company Y'all come on over here! LOL... It does my soul good to see two of my favorite fellers at it again... I guess Deer is on the golf course? *G* |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
 ...Geesh.. They're at it again.. Will they EVER learn?  |
||
|
Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
You guys are great. You should go on the stage. I think there's one going out of town in about an hour...  Nan |
||
|
Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Hey Pilggy...that wasn't nice to say....I get to ride shotgun though!!! |
||
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Welcome back~ and about time!  Well, I will just go get popcorn, a drink and put on trackies, this may take a while! LOL, you are too much but I think you know that right?There is nothing means more to me than |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Nan, I hope they never learn For I sure love their fun I just wish they'd stick around Instead of this "hit and run!" I'd give up my best notebook And throw away my pen If only those 3 scalawags Were free to trade licks again! It's a pity that work and life Find ways to interfere... For there's nothing I'd rather read Than the sailor, Toerag, and Deer! ROFL @ Pilgrimage and Toe... hee hee. |
||
|
Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Ha, ha, ha, LngJhn! Course, in the sad reality, there would be no trial. We're damn lucky to live in the free world! Cor |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
