Open Poetry #21 |
Wish you were |
Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
You could have been my child but instead you became my lover you could have been my lover but instead became my child There are contrasts of clouds drifting at midnight words whispered inside best left unspoken feelings, like open wounds seep reality & hurts just as much... you were a star unattainable but as a dream, more than real in another life, you would have been my soulmate instead, you became my friend & for this I am grateful... ~R.T. 6/02 "I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..." [This message has been edited by Tiersdin (06-18-2002 12:08 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 R.T. Webster-Mosby - All Rights Reserved | |||
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
powerfully complex with wonderful images and thoughts and feelings to ponder - thanks for a compelling read! Paul |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
I enjoyed this one, it's filled with difficult images. Nan |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Compromising... sometimes we at least have that... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Tier~Wow! Fantastic thoughts here!! ~Hugs~ |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Thanks, all. This isn't literal, but rather the mental attitudes of the two involved... ~R.T. "I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..." |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I really loved this one, Tier... the interchange and flow of the thoughts were beautiful, entertaining and thought provoking. ~ hugs for the thoughts Lyra |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
yes. . . the thoughts of two minds as one. . . great work my friend. . . --------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
When friends share their innermost thoughts, it does feel as if they are interwoven that way...like the way you describe that aspect! |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Thank you, M.C., Sven, and Dulcinea, it's nice to get such varied comments on a work. *hugs* ~Tier "I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..." |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Tiesdin, You have expressed in this, an understanding or at least an awareness of the multiplicities inherent in our relationships. The different roles that we play, sometimes unknowingly, in our efforts to affect a foundation upon which to build. Or, it could be, you know, a poem or something. ~wranx "Writing is a perfectly natural thing to do....just remember to wash your hands afterward"....Heinlein. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy your read |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Tiersdin Sometimes there are different roles to play, depending on so many things, yet they are not really roles, for they are real and are born of love, not acting. I really enjoyed this thoughtful poem! |
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mycafe Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584 |
I absolutely loved the thoughts in here ! mycafe |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Tier.. THIS IS PERFECT! You could not have written these emotions and feelings any better had you tried with the help of the rest of us. Closed out perfectly as well....all of the could have been becoming the perfect thing. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Wonderful emotion showed in this poem. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I liked this. Soft and right. She said burn ... together. |
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