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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2002-06-17 04:02 PM

When you Write with Love

When I awoke this morn, I looked around ~
and what broke my heart, was the silent sound
of no one breathing, and no heart’s beat ~
there lay a note…a heart break…complete.

While the missive I read made my eyes sting,
there, wrapped in the note, lay her ring,
and without reading the letter, word for word,
I knew it was full of feelings I’d heard.

She doesn’t belong here anymore,
her heart now lies on another’s shore,
for he spoke to her in cadence so fine
now her heart is no longer mine.

He used expression with karmic song
and thus asked her to sing along,
took her heartstrings, plucked them well
so no longer will she be compelled

to listen to my words, or hear my voice,
I’ve lost her by my very own choice,
to not hear her, nor her words of love,
she’d packed her things, flew like a dove...

She doesn’t live here anymore,
she’s flown off for other shores,
and only lingering traces of her kiss
will I feel from the dawn's cool mist.

He drew poetic pictures, and lured her in
thus their soul’s dance did begin,
he took her love, which once was mine
impressed upon her, and his words entwined,

he spoke of things she must have missed,
for he sealed his messages with love and a kiss,
he promised her the moon, under a starry sky,
he would sip wine while he gazed in her eyes,

so intoxicated she must have become,
that in my silence, to him she’s run,
and I cannot blame her any more,
that she’s run off for distant shores.

When I awoke this morn and looked around
what broke my heart was that silent sound
there is no one breathing, no heart’s beat ~
here laid the note…now a heart breaks…complete.

20 June 2000
©KRJ
revised
17 June 2002
Photography: K. R. Jungel

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-17-2002 04:04 PM).]

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

1 posted 2002-06-17 04:04 PM

That was a great write.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

2 posted 2002-06-17 04:17 PM

ok..come get a hug now...
bring you camera too
we will go take pictures
of happy faces

enjoyed you K

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2002-06-17 04:46 PM

Absolutely beautiful Karilea!!
Love this...bless you!
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2002-06-17 05:00 PM

Silky...James

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

5 posted 2002-06-17 06:18 PM

(smiles) Oh Karilea, this is wonderful, sweet friend, you always write with love and the cadence and descriptive nature of your words proves it! (sigh) This is gorgeous, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

6 posted 2002-06-17 06:38 PM

You know that I am envious.....IWIHWT...and
from reading it...I could have...OH YES...

You went into the depth of HIM....and wrote
such a soulful poem of HIS loss...

Awesome, OK? Need I say more....Eh????

LOVE IT...Yep I do...

Dulcinea
Senior Member

since 2001-07-22

Posts 774
IN

7 posted 2002-06-17 06:47 PM

~sigh~ You did an excellent job writing from this perspective Sunshine, very well done!

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

8 posted 2002-06-17 07:10 PM

Kari darling sister of my soul Oh how utterly utterly wonderful. I love I love it utterly utterly. The thought of love that has had it’s day is exquisitely written darling heart, absolutely exquisite.

Sometimes you drop pearls of wisdom into quiet pools of wonder, and the ripples across that silent pool of thought reach out to another soul, this is such a time. Utterly breathtakingly perfect. Thank you for this beauteous gift

You know I love this don’t you? Of course you do. Absolutely perfect writing

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

poetaster
New Member

since 2002-06-16

Posts 2

9 posted 2002-06-17 09:24 PM

Even before enjoying the reading of this poem as I have many others of yours over time, I knew I would have to reply to this one. The perspective was certainly interesting, but what actually compelled me to respond was in the picture you used. That exact doily was crocheted by my grandmother for me and is in similar use at this moment. Weaving patterns with words or threads each requires a special gift.

Goodknight
Member Elite

since 2002-06-15

Posts 2386
Ohio, USA

10 posted 2002-06-17 10:10 PM

my heart aches and breaks and I am totally taken by your words...

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

11 posted 2002-06-18 09:06 AM

So goes the pendulum of love... If not sunshiny, your words are very insightful, m'lady...

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

12 posted 2002-06-18 10:09 AM

nice

sigheyes
Member

since 2001-04-25

Posts 323
the winds of destiny

13 posted 2002-06-18 10:12 AM

one word
WOW!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

14 posted 2002-06-18 10:23 AM

Karliea, you blew me away with this one. You took those emotions, looking at them from a voyeaurs point of view and just turned it into exquisite writing. So extremely well done!! Morning Hugs to you!! (no I ain't playing at work, I am on vacation hon. *w*)

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~~(Garth)

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

15 posted 2002-06-18 07:52 PM

I am totally and completely in awe of your talents, Karilea...both the photographic and the poetic.
Its interesting that you wrote the first person from a male point of view. I really enjoyed the way you presented this hearbreak,

~ hugs of admiration

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

16 posted 2002-06-18 07:57 PM

lovely!!!

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

17 posted 2002-06-20 11:28 AM

This is outstanding!!! The story captured me immediately... and the superb rhyme and flawless cadence kept me a willing prisoner. *S* Excellent work!!!

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

18 posted 2002-06-20 04:47 PM

This is wonderful, heartbreakingly real and beautifully done.
Sandra

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