Open Poetry #21 |
Goodbye laws |
SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Goodbye Laws Give me just one last look into your inner space let me linger one last time while our eyes embrace Read my palm once again our future to unfold let me brush your hair away before our love turns cold The moon, the stars belonged to us They promised not to fade You turned around the universe and tamed the tidal waves Your power turned my night to day Your strength stood still my heart No sky will ever be the same When you and I depart I leave you now with salty tears My heart entwined with yours There is no way to gently leave There are no goodbye laws c2002SimplyGold |
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© Copyright 2002 SimplyGold - All Rights Reserved | |||
skyshine
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Oh I wish there were! The only thing you can do is do it the best you know how....Well done SimplyGold. Liked this. ~Beth You look inside my wild mind |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This is such a gorgeous and romantic love poem, Electra... I enjoyed it very much. ~ chipmunk hugs from the underbrush Lyra |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Thank you Madame Chipmunk and Skyshine. Appreciate the feedback, thanks for taking a peek. Electra |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
No good in goodbye. Death would almost be a relief and plausible end to an affair. At least one wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath or carry heavy hope. Enjoyed. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Very well stated! There are many truths in these words. Thank you for the delightful read. somebody tell me, please help me.... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
This poem is "simply gold" as is your name... Much enjoyed.. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The moon, the stars belonged to us They promised not to fade You turned around the universe and tamed the tidal waves Your power turned my night to day Your strength stood still my heart No sky will ever be the same When you and I depart I leave you now with salty tears My heart entwined with yours There is no way to gently leave There are no goodbye laws =========================== this is a wonderful poetic mix of imagery and cadence...it was a pleasure to read aloud. The personification of natures forces to express the emotion added to its appeal I love this verses intent: The moon, the stars belonged to us They promised not to fade You turned around the universe and tamed the tidal waves and these lines: No sky will ever be the same When you and I depart very cool analogy to define the devotion. I enjoyed this much and will watch for more of your work. Well done!! jm If all the tear drops went to heaven |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I must agree somewhat with Mr. Wells..sometimes there is no good in goodbye... longbye shutthedoorbye even adios if you are coming back, then fair thee well... even good bye your leave, if you are coming back... now you've got me wondering what it was I meant to say...Oh Yes...excellent write... |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
I can see by the intense comments that this theme is one that runs deep. I have learned the hard way, that it is sometimes more painful to leave someone then it is to be left. Yes, RS I can see that you have been there. Thank you Janet Marie, for your comments. I especially appreciated your notation concerning reading it aloud. Cadence ironically, is something that I have been studying lately. So, it was very astute of you and much appreicated that it was picked up. Maybe, my studies are paying off! Sunshine, Magnus, Gentle Spirit, Thank you You are right, no matter how you say it or in whatever the language, there is no easy way! [This message has been edited by SimplyGold (08-11-2002 12:00 PM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
SimplyGold Love, the invisable thread, that wraps us in happiness or unravels us...with no easy way out except to cut the thread. You wrote this heartbreak well! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggsssssss) Oh SimplyGold, this is soooooo heartbreakingly beautiful, sweet friend, I understand this pain and my heart goes out to you! (sigh) Always say exactly how your heart wants to say it for to love fro the heart is the true way! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet SimplyGold, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
well said - wonderfully wriiten - enjoyable to read - well done - Paul |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Sometimes there isn't much else left to say when all those before me have done so...It touches many, for almost everyone has said goodbye at least once. M |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
This is pure gold, both the thoughts and the expression of them. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
Yes, the invisable thread is linking us together. May we all find solace in this bittersweet universal human emotion. You have all touched each other proving that ultimately we are not along. Thank you. Affectionately, SimplyGold |
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