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Open Poetry #21
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Caught
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Caught |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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Weighted down by tears I couldn't see the path Held in check by all my fears Of bitter aftermath No room to breathe and grow No time to see my way I knew not, what I didn't know Was buried in the day I struggled vain and sore Held by my foolish pride To a place I knew no more That kept me trapped inside The bonds of love cut deep Held by the power of pain I could not move but could not sleep Cried in the dark again The time had come to move Yet still I couldn't go Perhaps I had something to prove I guess I'll never know In this time and space Trapped until I die There is no me, not one trace Just bitter woeful sigh Caught in this web I am An insect held to show Trapped here by emotions dam I cannot move or go ...perhaps the spider can save me? Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown [This message has been edited by Kethry (08-06-2002 09:19 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh, never trust the spider... clever write, Kethry... |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
What a thought provoking piece with a macabre finale. Your sighs speak volumes  Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Caught in this web I am An insect held to show Trapped here by emotions dam I cannot move or go ...perhaps the spider can save me? I enjoyed this a great deal. It flowed, had rhythm and the ending was terrific. Love Seduces Joy From The Heart |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
A beautiful write, Keth... Caught in this web I am An insect held to show Trapped here by emotions dam I cannot move or go ...perhaps the spider can save me? Its awesome, awe inspiring and frightening all at the same time... and that takes lots of talent!  Lyra |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Naw, a spider will only leave you high and dry! Try a shoe horn...they always did work wonders! Silliness aside, this was a very well written piece Kethry about becoming trapped in our own disappointments in life and being paralyzed by them...well done! |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Kethry, this is powerful, sweet friend, we all will experience disappointments but know we are in good hands and our faith is like the shoe that scares the spider away! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Stapleton13 Junior Member
since 2002-08-06
Posts 13Windsor, Ontario Canada |
very beautiful and well written. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Paralysis setting in? This seems already spider bitten. Which is to say, you have described well, the paralysis of fear. (Hope you can cut through that web) "Grab a pen, grab some paper, do yourself a little favor." e |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
ah. . . but, sometimes. . . only the spider knows the way out of the web, eh Kethry??? great work my friend. . . you tell the tale well. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Again Sven has said it best. Very good writing about some very hard feelings to get passed....but even the spider does move on....well done Kethry Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kethry~ Ahhhh, what a sticky subject~  You weave so well, one would have a hard time distinguishing where the words end and the web begins~ I just adore this piece~ I can't wait until September brings you full-circle into our lives~  *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderful Kethry! I loved the suspenseful buildup, and the excellent closing ... really well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Superbly written with the terrors and the tremors.....and yes, such an ending.... But I agree with Karilea....DON'T trust the spider..... |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Ver intense images here, Keth, I could feel the fear. Sandra |
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mycafe Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584 |
Kethry, your thoughts always amaze me. Wonderfully enjoyed! Nah, the spidey will devour you, give it a skip! mycafe Keep counting your blessings |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Kethry... Very enjoyable. I thought I had it figured out till the last stanza. Such an unusual ending I had to read it over again. The spider lies in wait to capture your heart to seal your fate with his web never to part |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The bonds of love cut deep Held by the power of pain I could not move but could not sleep Cried in the dark again Ouch... I remember this place well... and when the web holds you tightly enough, you'd welcome any release. So, talented lady... I read this on two levels... as both a wonderful story... and a superb metaphor... and in either reading, I finish with applause. *S* |
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