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Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

0 posted 2002-08-04 11:20 PM

Amidst the chaos
less than perfect decisions
words spoken in haste, too loudly
days that I care, never to repeat
progress, I mean to make
if I could just find the energy
anger, useless to express
after the fact
though, still
I want to hit something

glass

shatter it to bits
that fall around me
watch the blood, drip from my hands
feel no pain
only relief
at the sight, the cause
of senseless disruption

I remind myself that
she loves me

and try to rest

I
I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided...

INXS

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

1 posted 2002-08-04 11:53 PM

Arrggghhh....I KNOW!!! Well done though.

~sky

You look inside my wild mind
never knowing what you'll find
still I want you all the time
yeah I do
'cause you get me
~Michelle Branch

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

2 posted 2002-08-04 11:58 PM

Beautiful...

DeaDiAmore

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

3 posted 2002-08-05 02:05 AM

m'man - this is what i'm talking about. there is little to this that could be called less than honest. there is no softening the blow, no buttering up the presence of self - it's raw and real, harsh and purposeful. directing the anger, the somewhat confusing (i was going to say this shouldn't be centered, but considering the subject and the way you pulled off the dislocation, i've completely changed my mind) reality of 'seeing red,' was a perfect way to go. this nets a 9.1 in my book.

though it could be argued that the it's fitting with the theme... i still ache for some puctuation modification.

glad to read you again d-man

C

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

4 posted 2002-08-05 07:29 AM

Amidst the chaos
less than perfect decisions
========================
days that I care, never to repeat
progress, I mean to make
if I could just find the energy
=========================

me thinks I just cut me self on the broken mirrors of this one...
damn D...Im looking around to see if youre peekin in me window...cause this reads like a front row seat with a view of moth hell
(self inflicted in my case)

As for your last lines closing solutions...
yeah...its amazing how when the right person inspires us...we suddenly feel like we can fly. I believe the secret to this is to wake up each day with that inspiration next to us.
If only it were that easy.
Dont tear up those hands too much...ya gotta take care of them...ya need them to WRITE/TYPE MORE POETRY.

Heart on Sleeve ... ya wear it well.

Tell me we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
Ill be captivated, Ill hang from your lips
Instead of the heartache from above

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member

since 2002-01-23

Posts 1056
Kansas USA

5 posted 2002-08-05 08:47 AM

Hi Duncan!

Well expressed. I read all you said and sum it up with--"It's gotta be the heat!"

Sounds like an official bad day. Here's wishing you a better day today.

Shenachie

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

6 posted 2002-08-05 09:13 AM

Duncan - I agree, well expressed and written. Does sound like one of those days...

BC

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2002-08-05 09:13 AM

You are so open and honest...
you allow the reader to feel your pain.
Good stuff Duncan.
~Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

8 posted 2002-08-05 09:37 AM

Some days are just like that. At least you've got love... it's never quite so bad when you have that on your side. And a mini vacation doesn't hurt either!!

You can never win or lose
If you don't
Run the race

Psychedelic Furs - Love My Way

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

9 posted 2002-08-05 10:12 AM

Dunc,
It is a timeless cat that sits on our chest.
Enjoyed

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

10 posted 2002-08-05 10:38 AM

enjoyed

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

11 posted 2002-08-05 12:32 PM

sometimes that's all it takes--I just felt like I was tucking you in, Dunc! SWEET, and sorta sleepy...

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

12 posted 2002-08-05 02:15 PM

Amidst the chaos
less than perfect decisions
words spoken in haste, too loudly
days that I care, never to repeat

I know these days well, Duncan...but I am glad that they have a happy ending for your because she still loves you...

I know that part well too...because I know that he still loves me.
And, afterall...thats the most important part of everything, isn't it?

~ serious rodent hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

13 posted 2002-08-05 07:17 PM

(big hugggsssssss) Oh Duncan, this is sadly beautiful, sweet friend, I love it, know she will always love you and that is all that matters! (sigh) This is touching, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Duncan, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

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