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Open Poetry #21
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Disillusionment
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Disillusionment |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Disillusionment Perhaps it will just be a figment of my imagination, but now, now, I believe that I know, in the recessed bowels where pain sometimes resides, where a mute possibility once lived, where an anguished flame of enthuse flickered, and died, and the cold begins…. Now I will be able to say your shoes fit well, mother Though size was never the issue, but until you step into the mind of another, like slipping on their moccasins, as I, finally, have come to step into them, …you know what it is like. You believe No One ever knows what you are going through, your disappointments, disillusionments… and it comes to you, in reckoning, that neither do you have any idea of theirs. Until realization suddenly arrives, like a person awakening from a coma, and the incomprehensible is force-fed like unsalted gruel… she had performed as one with her beloved piano, whether by ear, or note, she embodied the spirits of Tchaikowski, Strauss, Bach, Beethoven, Wagner music bled from her fingertips, and in her slender youth, her instructor said, I can no longer teach you…you must run to the Masters, to uncover the remainder of your gifts… the flicker of dream began to grow, surely, it must have, for here was her talent, her desires, her life… there are times water is warm, and inviting, comforts you and allows you to thrive; but it is of precarious elements, becoming cold with lack of sun, frigid and unyielding in distant extremes… I never knew, until after she died, that mother had been told by her father, “no” to her dreams… “NO” must have screamed inside her and all past quandaries are now in sight of being explained away, for that NO had become rock solid where the flame had once lived, and that NO must have given the fist to her hand, that NO perhaps, perhaps, became softened by her new husband’s love of her, but never, never forgotten… in understanding now, of what that NO must have been like, now, when it has been screamed into my soul, now, as I watch my own desires bleed from my fingertips, might I only hope that I slip-slide this pain, and some one day pick up threads of another desire, whatever it may be, that I never know again this iced rock-solid pain of disillusionment. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Decaflame - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Decaflame Well done, it is a story as old as time but you did it well. Believe me dear when I say each of us is a star and has a place in the infinate plan.  |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Now I will be able to say your shoes fit well, mother Though size was never the issue, but until you step into the mind of another, like slipping on their moccasins, as I, finally, have come to step into them, I love this peom, Deca...especially your metaphor of stepping into your mothers shoes/mind.  ~ hugs from a pair which fits wellLyra |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Deca The piano was my star...and I was going to ride it too...but I said "no" to myself. Such an influance one word from the right person..to effect the whole life. This was so well done! |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) Oh my gosh, I know just how you feel here, sweet friend, your love for your mother shines in this powerful piece and I know she will always be so proud of you as she will see to it your disillusionment becomes bliss and comfort! (sigh) My thoughts are with you, sweet friend, this is by far one of your best ever, I too love the piano geniuses, this is wonderful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light alwyas shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I think I could write a novel to cover verything you have expressend in this poem. It reminds me a lot of "The Piano" which took the Oscar years ago. Amazing how there are so many facets to a person's life we are never aware of until they surface by chance...and there are always second chances. Beautiful expression  |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
much enjoyed..  |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Painful read, no doubt painful write. To have one's passions squelched is a timeless lesson in cruelty and perhaps jealous ignorance. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
This is all to often reality for far too many, for to loose one's passion in life is to loose a part of yourself and your dreams. It is not until we feel the gaping hole an action like this creates can we ever begin to understand what another has felt. So very painful to read this one. Nothing means more to me than faith, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
you know what it is like. You believe No One ever knows what you are going through, your disappointments, disillusionments… and it comes to you, in reckoning, that neither do you have any idea of theirs. ===================================== in understanding now, of what that NO must have been like, now, when it has been screamed into my soul, now, as I watch my own desires bleed from my fingertips, might I only hope that I slip-slide this pain, and some one day pick up threads of another desire, whatever it may be, that I never know again this iced rock-solid pain of disillusionment ================================ what we can not forget...nor "slip side" ... we will bleed into our ink...and it becomes our most giving muse.... a most impressive write of depth Decca... both in its expression and its use of metaphor and analogy... so good to read you again poetess of the flame. jm How she loves me, I dont understand |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Deca...this is superb poetry....so much depth and feelings within. No, I don't think you will ever feel that disillusionment. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Deca, just let me say... I know and understand. ~Hugs sweetie~ |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
"No!" is the wrong answer. The real question is "How?" Well written, Decaflame. And an extremely valid write. "No!" is only the answer if we accept it. Sometimes we just have to sort priorities and decide what is really important to us. Most things are possible and sometimes difficult. Times have changed. More is possible and easier. What is right for you? Shenachie |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Certainly it takes a lifetime sometimes to understand another's pain, but you have done it magnificently. Joyce |
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R. Dean Junior Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 37Illinois--USA |
The quality of this work is far beyond anything I have seen here before...including my own. It is not perfect...the "flame of enthuse", "another...their", caps on "no one", "arrive" instead of "arrives" to conform with "she had", and I would capitalize "Music" as the beginning of a new sentence. The next two stanzas should also have capitals at the beginning to mark new sentences. One "never" is enough, and I would also make a new sentence with a capital "In" for the penultimate stanza. All-in-all, though, a magnificent effort. Bravo. Yours in peace, |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Your pen always gives us treasures... this is one of my favorites. *S* It's simply superb... a powerful, riveting story told with such excellence. |
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