navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #21 » Locomotive Breath
Open Poetry #21
Post A Reply Post New Topic Locomotive Breath Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2002-07-24 06:53 AM


In the encroaching madness
Locomotive breath
Falling down in the darkness
Clutching himself ‘round the chest,
Feels impending death
Sweeping him off with the rest
He crawls off on bloody knees,
A train derails his mind,
He can’t make his final pleas
His tongue swells fat in his head
Words he’ll never find
If he’s run down to be dead
So he pulls himself upright,
Watches fleeing death,
He survived another fight.

Gloom

Thanks to Ian Anderson’s words for inspiration late at night



© Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-07-24 07:05 AM


(looking behind the monitor)

oh yes. YOU KNOW, I am a major TULL fan. (imagine that)

Again, you write of the seemingly doomed, with such a tenderness and the tone is like a treatment of sepia...or just grit. I enjoyed your spin on this much! The locomotive breath, giving the urgency or just plain stubborness...egads..I should shaddup, huh?

heh heh.

nice poem?

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2002-07-24 07:12 AM


Thank you, Serenity
Yes a major Tull fan here also,
It’s the reason I learned to play the flute.
You wouldn’t happened to be Cross-eye would you?
Pleased you enjoyed

Gloom

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2002-07-24 07:19 AM


former cross-eye count? I got that fixed when I was seven...
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2002-07-24 08:09 AM


The title drew me in as I too am a Tull fan.........play this one on guitar myself.  You have some very interesting thoughts going on in this one but the best of all is the ending..........ya gotta fight the will to just give in sometimes.  Well done, very much enjoyed.
WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
5 posted 2002-07-24 02:39 PM


The title is what also drew me in. Anyone who ever listened to Jethro Tull knows the song well. Enjoyed the read and the sense of nostalgia.  *you know you're old when what you listened to as hard rock is now nostalgic*...Oh well
sodpossom
Senior Member
since 2001-06-15
Posts 723
N.C
6 posted 2002-07-24 02:44 PM


Enjoyed it professor!
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #21 » Locomotive Breath

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary