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Open Poetry #21
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sleepless
| Open Poetry #21 |
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sleepless |
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7 Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 113Amherst, MA, USA |
you close your eyes to escape to darkness and leave me alone in the light I lie awake and echo your breath praying we'll inhale the night I'm by your side but you cannot see me you're dreaming of oceans and beaches and sand should I close the distance of inches or miles by breaking your slumber and touching your hand? like dropping the phone without a goodbye you wordlessly drifted away letting me struggle to follow your lead counting the seconds to day before my arm can make its decision you destroy my hopes with a turn of the head rolling away so I reach for your hand and touch your back instead no i will NOT wait three seconds! |
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| © Copyright 2002 Paula - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Interesting Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) This is soooooo powerfully heartaching, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and I hope everything is alright for this sounded so very sad! (sigh) my thoughts are with you, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much, we have all missed you! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet 7, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Night_Myst Junior Member
since 2000-08-16
Posts 34River Falls, WI |
This is a very interesting piece. I really dont' know what to say beyond that. It is something that I enjoyed reading. It conveys so many different emotions that they almost become hard to isolate at any given moment. I'm not sure if I like it. It makes it a really interesting feel to the overall effect and makes it very deep. I like it. |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'should I close the distance of inches or miles by breaking your slumber and touching your hand? like dropping the phone without a goodbye' I understand the feeling completely...very cool expression and images...great write! sp    I want to wake up to the sound of waves |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
like dropping the phone without a goodbye you wordlessly drifted away Sometimes...we choose not to hear. Though, I'd rather have the bandaid removed quickly. Really good write, I liked it alot! And love your sig. One blaze of glory - glory |
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7 Member
since 2000-04-26
Posts 113Amherst, MA, USA |
Hope I'm not stepping on anyones toes by bringing my poem to the top, just wanted to thank everyone who replied. Noah - yeah, it was a sad poem about a sad topic, but I'm fine  ... usually I try to make my poems have an uplifting ending, but I think this way works better for this one.Peace and Happiness, 7 no i will NOT wait three seconds! |
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