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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2002-06-13 05:06 PM

Friendly Fire

I feel my life is spinning
In a vortex of regret
For all the wrongs that I have done
And never will forget
But now my head is burning
In the odor of my sweat

We all are buddies in this place
Where strangeness is the scene
There are no bounds of good and bad
There’s only “in between”
And I was on the border line
Reality of dream

The steam is rising off my back
Beneath this desert sun
I was a misty gray mirage
To someone else’s gun
No one could blame you ,buddy
For the things that you have done

We’re all together in this space
A combat zone of life
Our weaponry is unsurpassed
In causing someone’s strife
The one’s I killed were much too young
For weapons or a wife

How could you know that it was me
Not one we came to fight
How can we truly justify,
That either one is right
Our targets are in infrared
The eyes are ones of fright

My legs are burning like a fire
There’s weakness in my hand
Just one more word and I will sleep
Upon the desert sand
Tomorrow they will find engraved
The words, “I love you, man”

Elizabeth Santos

[This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (06-13-2002 05:08 PM).]

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

1 posted 2002-06-13 05:11 PM

This is beautiful, and well written. It's a dramatic, wonderful poem.

Nan

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2002-06-13 05:17 PM

Wowzers Lizzie, this is a different one for you, and yes dramatic...you know this type of interaction is all to comman place isn't it? Great write my friend.

There is nothing means more to me than
my faith, my family and my friends.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2002-06-13 05:52 PM

Elizabeth,
As was said a little differant for you but still very very good. Sy

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

4 posted 2002-06-14 01:27 AM

I think you do quite well with this style, Liz....I really like your other stuff a lot and I know this is different, but I think you should try it more often....its very good.

~ sleepy hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

5 posted 2002-06-14 04:10 AM

Friendly Fire indeed Elizabeth!   A deep intense write.

                "How could you know that it was me
                 Not one we came to fight
                 How can we truly justify,
                 That either one is right
                 Our targets are in infrared
                 The eyes are ones of fright"

Excellent parallels in this work!

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

6 posted 2002-06-14 07:44 AM

No such thing as anesthetic war, or a "clean" shot, it's all dirty. Peace poetess.

"Happy people have no history" - French Proverb

bags123
Member

since 2002-06-06

Posts 128

7 posted 2002-06-14 09:43 AM

Love and Life are our eternal combat zones.
Thanks for reminding me. Enjoyed.

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

8 posted 2002-06-14 01:41 PM

It's hard to reply to this with the tears in my eyes.
Thank you.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

9 posted 2002-06-14 03:52 PM

You know those times when a performance has been so good that the audience sits in stunned silent reverence until at last their wits return and applause thunders loud enough to shake the chandeliers in the farthest reaches of the theatre? That's what you deserve with this, Elizabeth... WOW!

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

10 posted 2002-06-14 04:25 PM

yes. . . stunned silence. . . that's it. . .

that other voice is speaking isn't it Liz??

superb. . .

----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

11 posted 2002-06-15 04:34 AM

Thank you all so very much for your response to this poem. It was a different subject for me only because it was a challege poem, not something I know much about, Thank you all for your kind comments.Thet are very touching
Liz

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