»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #21
»
Punctuated Heartbeat.......a duet with Sunshine
| Open Poetry #21 |
|
Punctuated Heartbeat.......a duet with Sunshine |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
Punctuated Heartbeat somehow, you inserted a comma between my thoughts, then a semicolon of despair crept in and I wondered how best to parenthesis your sad Your word caught me with its question mark. Yes, I knew the answer, it was written in connection with dash, separate, but linked by sorrow's hand. then you ellipsed your hesitation blank....spacing but the mistakes had been made and the editing began humbled I stuttered deleted and dragged by cumbersome run-ons looking for flow and a rhyme you know go girl echo go stuttering became staccato, then a paraphrase wouldn't fit and semicolons began to dance to the clacking of the keys as you sold your soul to the devil's delight Faster now a rhythm not of words but sound where I drown in fingers song a float note still hung low I grasp so I may let go then on the floor, there, near file 13 lay your scattered thoughts edited by ruthless scissors the punctuated heartbeat still pulses in exclamation, pointing. |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
 |
||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  YAY!!! Oh my gosh, I love this, sweet friend, yes, and may there always be many semicolons to always make dreams come true and for endless stories and memories of love to develop! (BIG HUGGGSSSSSS) You and Karilea make such a great team, sweet friend, I LOVE IT, I'm adding this to my library now, we all love you both so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Martie and Karilea, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh this is wonderful!! You two duet so well together... I do hope we shall see more...please? Love the presentation as well!! Excellent! ~Hugs to you both~ |
||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
this is incredible Ladies! more....more... encore.... Kudo's to you both! and hugs... Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal. |
||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nice play of rythm and image..tattered remains discarded.... wonderful compliment of styles here... I enjoyed |
||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
You two, do this very well....what a beautiful read.....  Lauren~ The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
When two of my favorite poets collaborate, the result is bound to be superb! *S* I enjoyed this very much, ladies... from the title through the last word. *S* |
||
|
Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
duet doit duo...you two are the same person sometimes I think...(grin) well kinda...dug it ladies |
||
|
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I knew this would be great, just look at the combination of writers Sandra |
||
|
Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
oh my gosh, you two are awesome, stunning piece. Charisma |
||
|
Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
This is very clever. Wonderful work, both of you! |
||
|
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie and Sunshine - this is just terrific - so clever and so much fun to read - thanks to you both for a wonderful read - Paul |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thank you so much for your replies...Sunshine is so easy to write with... and fun, and fast. Enjoyed this alot. Karilea..thanks for the opportunity to do a duet again. |
||
|
Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
You two write so beautifully together... but that was predictable....seeing that each of you is such an exceptional writer on your own... I hope you do this more often... ~ 2 hugs from my heart...one for each of yours Lyra |
||
|
mycafe Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584 |
So uniquely done...but of course from a unique duo!  mycafe Keep counting your blessings |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Incredible writing... from two of my favourites here... Regards, Sudhir |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I love it when you two hold hands and play, it is simply delightful! Nothing means more to me than faith, |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Ladies ... this is exceptional! What a wonderful collaboration Martie and Karilea! I loved the theme of this piece and how well you both played on the wording and brought punctuation to life. Absolutely excellent!  Best wishes and hugs to you both, /Kit |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Martie is one of the most imaginative poets around...so for me, it's always a thrill to climb up on her mountain and view the world with her...thank you all for allowing us some play space... |
||
|
rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
TWO..very extraordinary things I love about these pages... Really great..really..with an exclamation!!and a :) Sincerely, Reg |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Awesome! One is good two is better, especially when it is you two. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
||
|
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie & Karilea~ A very enjoyable read for this friend~ Delightful ladies~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
WOW! You two fit together so perfectly....this is very, very good writing and an excellent collaboration. Both of you could juggle eggs without breaking them and you use the same soft touch in your poetry...this was a thoroughly enjoyable read  |
||
|
Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Thanks for bringing punctuation to life. You take the dry out of grammar. Truly excellent collaboration. Enjoyed the read. Shenachie |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Hard to find a better duet than the two of you. Sort of like mixing the best of both worlds to create a whole new euphoria. Beautiful ............. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
