a response to: Serenity's challenge via BSQ's "slow man's land"

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Soleil Noir
Senior Member

since 2001-12-19

Posts 688
USA

0 posted 2002-07-17 10:45 AM

Serenity’s challenge via BSQ

It was the summer of molasses
thickly wet
   darkening to gray
        with nothing to wring dry
              except one’s thoughts

no elastic in a bounce
even the birds wouldn’t bob
    silence shrouding ears
        and blooms heavy with desire
               to open

this was the picture then
of one man’s island
    where carpets of green hushed
         all of his meanderings
               as Venus flytrapped him

in his slow man’s land.

[This message has been edited by Soleil Noir (07-17-2002 10:56 AM).]

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

1 posted 2002-07-17 10:52 AM

Soleil, I'm not sure if you wrote this or if you are passing it on for serenity, either way it is stunning.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2002-07-17 11:13 AM

Oh yes...remarkable writing!

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2002-07-17 11:17 AM

Outstanding!!

~wranx

I have great faith in Humanity...It's just most of the Humans, I'm not too keen on. E.F.Rose

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

4 posted 2002-07-17 11:30 AM

Oh, I REALLY like this one!

Challenge well met!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2002-07-17 11:35 AM

wonderful, loved the presentation too.

*S
M

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

6 posted 2002-07-17 12:32 PM

ms noir, or should I say ms venus..
something suggestive in this
botany was never interesting
til now..enjoyed it lady

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

7 posted 2002-07-17 01:05 PM

Oh my goodness!

Now this is the hand of a writer!

Nothing means more to me than faith,
family and my friends.

Proud Canadian

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

8 posted 2002-07-17 01:09 PM

Excellent! Hmm... guess I should participate at some point, huh?

She said burn ... together.
-TON

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

9 posted 2002-07-17 01:18 PM

(smiles) Oh Soileil, this is wonderful, sweet friend, I haven't really looked into the challenge yet but am intrigued, this is fantastic, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Soleil, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (07-17-2002 01:19 PM).]

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

10 posted 2002-07-17 01:37 PM

Soleil

Like the pour of molassas in slow motion you set the mood. Excellent!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

11 posted 2002-07-18 12:21 PM

I imagine it would slow down...this is a novellette in a poem wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma...(sorry...I watched JFK again today...grin)

I love when something is rendered in subtleties, and the final product is so starkly vivid. A wonderful read!

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member

since 2002-01-23

Posts 1056
Kansas USA

12 posted 2002-07-18 03:46 PM

Wow! This was really excellent writing. Left me awe-struck!

Shenachie

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