»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #21
»
unrealized
| Open Poetry #21 |
|
unrealized |
|
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
|
Talking into tunnel giving depth to thought's unwind sinking into funnel live inept of wind unkind... a sinking circumstance a gamble on a solid chance-- I lose the ground beneath my feet-- grateful, that I have my knees to place the weight of faith upon-- bolster fate of shoulder's song... I am lost within myself. I've been Heaven. I've been Hell. I am found within myself. I get lost within the dwell of oaken moss and dust on shelf... (I get lost) it's Heaven's Hell. I am lucid lines of time. (I am found) I'm realized. I am shadow dance of rhyme-- lucid, yet unrealized... I whisper--pray-- it's amplified "Mister, can you spare a dime?" "Can you take my pain away?" Oh, go ahead. Leave me this way... Let me soak these plains of drought as I bleed by blood of doubt. There is no faith to walk quicksand. Sink by effort's understand. I wish I did not see. All these fingers, beckoning. Fingers in the mud--waving-- or is it last grasp of survive? Desperation or good-bye? I wish my fingers weren't so tired. [This message has been edited by serenity (07-10-2002 04:48 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I am lucid lines of time. (I am found) I'm realized. I am shadow dance of rhyme-- lucid, yet unrealized... this piece flows wonderfuly Karen, but this stanza just stood out to me. I am shadow dance of rhyme. how cool that is!! Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal. |
||
|
tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
WOW!!! sweet seren another fine write. I love your unique style and I agree with Gentle Spirit this flows wonderfully, well penned hon. ~hugs~ Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Nice thing about funnels is that if you fill the top, then it has to slow the flow down to leave through the bottom. A good time to catch your breath. I loved the conviction of faith mixed with the realities of this world in your words. Self realization and knowing where we stand are always good signs that we are paying enough attention to survive. Beautifully depicted in your words and I much enjoyed. |
||
|
Elan Member
since 2002-05-03
Posts 382State of Wide Eye |
...Unrealized, I am lost within myself. I've been Heaven. I've been Hell. ... I wish I had written this.... |
||
|
Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
I'm realized. I am shadow dance of rhyme-- lucid, yet unrealized... .... yeah... lucid all right... love your style, my friend... Regards, sudhir |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Serenity, Excellent, this write will offer many paths for one to follow. Hollow or not it is a sign of quick sand.  |
||
|
devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
I ditto the tired fingers sis...but if you keep penning out this stuff (what feeling is MADE of) then...go on girl!!!  grateful, that I have my knees to place the weight of faith upon-- Oh yeah!! If you don't mind? I shall join you there and sort the messier things of life out? eh? beautiful you Karen...yep, definantly... Love ya! Tanya Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
||
|
Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I wish I did not see. All these fingers, beckoning. Fingers in the mud--waving-- or is it last grasp of survive? Desperation or good-bye? I wish my fingers weren't so tired. During my fight with the cancer...I have often felt exactly like this. Hanging on by tired fingers, but hanging on, nonetheless. What a truly excellent write, Karen.  ~ last grasp hugsLyra |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Talking into tunnel giving depth to thought's unwind sinking into funnel live inept of wind unkind... a sinking circumstance a gamble on a solid chance-- I lose the ground beneath my feet-- grateful, that I have my knees to place the weight of faith upon-- bolster fate of shoulder's song... ================================ (I get lost) it's Heaven's Hell. I am lucid lines of time. (I am found) I'm realized. I am shadow dance of rhyme-- lucid, yet unrealized... I whisper--pray-- it's amplified "Mister, can you spare a dime?" "Can you take my pain away?" Oh, go ahead. Leave me this way... Let me soak these plains of drought as I bleed by blood of doubt. There is no faith to walk quicksand. Sink by effort's understand. ================================= Do you realize how consistantly WELL you do this day in and day out? You are rhyme divine...a muse keeping time ... a contstant reminder of reflection mine gawwwd I love this poem...let me kiss those tired fingers   mothymeNow for me some words come easy |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
