Open Poetry #21 |
Bliss |
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Satellites fall technology fails a silent decay No wonder I crash down and lay down my head and dream of tommorow asleep under blue skies and radiant sun beams ---------------------------------------- Just a quick question, does anyone think that this needs punctuation? I mean is it annoying that it doesn't have any or do you think that the meaning is lost without punctuation? Andrew "Pretend inferiority and encourage his arrogance." |
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© Copyright 2002 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved | |||
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I think it is fine the way it is. I like it. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Oh Andrew, I think it is just fine without punctuation, sweet friend, if you wish to empathize something or stillness it always helps to add periods yet I think this poems authenticity is golden without them! (big hugggssssss) Boy, I dream so much of the day when the technology world falls other than the Internet so we can live more peaceful and pastoral lifestyles, sweet friend, this is very well-said, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Andrew, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I think with free verse anything goes, it reads well just the way it is to me. *s* Enjoy life, this is NOT a dress rehearsal. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Love it...the way it is. ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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