Your Stone Casting Contest

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Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2002-06-12 02:01 PM

Disclaimer about this having to do with my life...etc...etc..You know the story...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

cold clutch of agony
seizes a spirit now wrought with sadness.
all the bad days
have overpowered your good visions of me
so I'm a little girl wasting again
and again.
I have not known this ache til now
thissss
ice.
this power of something raw gripping me.
You stand there with your childish concerns
and I feel betrayed by a strength
I once belonged to.
All the bad days have overpowred your good visions of me.
You've undressed my honor in front of your heart
and I did nothing but try to clothe yours
when it needed most repair.
I am now an image
a lost wife
fading into the stereotypes with all the rest
trying to hold my head in a crowd of reluctant whisperers
trying to prove that I am not as guilty as your justifications
would have me be
of trying to rip apart your soul.
You've fallen from your ultimate promise
which was to never care what others concluded.

How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so.
~Sarah MacLachlan~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-06-12 02:12 PM

A little known history--

It was because of this type of stone casting, that a wife first picked up a club--hitting the stones back at husband. Thus was the sport of baseball born--a virtual gift from women to men to keep them distracted and remind them forever to keep an eye on their balls!

(forgive my silliness here)

Have missed you Jen...you write so beautifully, and do dark. Pain so apparent it's hard to believe your disclaimers!

Brava!

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 2002-06-12 02:26 PM

A bitter write to be sure - it's sad when the one person we count on to believe without question no longer does....

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

3 posted 2002-06-12 04:18 PM

well, deVine said it perfectly. . . so, I won't. . .

there's a lot here. . . and, I know the disclaimer, but. . . it's all too real. . .

well done. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

4 posted 2002-06-18 01:41 PM

I've often wondered what happens when we take the stones out of our hands.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

5 posted 2002-06-20 02:59 AM

Impecible use of alliteration and repetition, and I should mention I loved the sss before ice. Someone said something about emotion, so I'll second or third that, adding that you translate that emotion quite wonderfully. Though, I might interject that your conclusion was a bit slow; I was expecting something with a bit more bite to it. Perhaps it was just me.

But, HI! Mistin ya, Jenn. Kinda lonely in this state without my friends to talk to. We need to catch up sometime; I'll hunt ya down, k. *grins*

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

6 posted 2002-06-20 03:22 AM

Great write! I read the disclaimer............
I have to say I love Serenity's description of how baseball started.......from stones etc Ha!

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