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Open Poetry #21
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Fourth o' July
| Open Poetry #21 |
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Fourth o' July |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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Fourth o' July We was gonna git a boat and row it way out on dat lake And sit dere glowin in da dark like candles on a cake We all helped drag dat wooden boat down on da grassy bank Me and Bubba, Julie Anne, an' little Bubba Frank Frankie was jus four years old, we come to celebrate A birthday with some fireworks and let ‘em stay up late Mama said it was OK, but careful not to stand A boat weren’t made fer rockin, lest your rockin’ on da land The sky fill up with sparks ‘n lightnin’, den dat boomin sound O' rockets burstin in the air, some landin on da ground And we sat still in shakin’ fear, fer dat near split my ears And Bubba Frankie weren’t too pleased and started cryin’ tears Doncha cry, now Frankie boy, it’s gonna stop real soon We’ll row back yondah like we did on trails of dat ole moon And so we kepp on lookin up at all da pretty spark That flash like somethin fancy in a ballroom in da dark Another boom! Oh Lord!, dat show was somethin' else ta see I wished my mama could be here and watch it all with me But wheelchairs don’t go in a boat and she jus don’t go out She said let Frankie go and tell me what it’s all about I look around and little Frankie, he was somehow gone No one could see ’er hear nothin’, dat ruckus goin’ on Dem fireworks what kill my little Frankie in da lake It’s been now nigh on ten year past, I made dat big mistake I shoulda been a’watchin him and not dem color flame I got a feelin dis ole life won’t never be da same Oh, Frankie boy, I miss ya, sugah, I jus can‘t believe Dat on yer day, July da fourth, I sit at home an’ grieve Our Mama, she done gone away with greivin’ on her face And I’m a’sittin here alone to take my Mama’s place Now Julie Anne and Bubba , ya’ll sit steady on dat lake And don’t come back a’braggin’ bout the boomin noise it make Ya’ll come back an say a prayer fer Frankie in da sky And have yerself some col’ mint tea ‘n sweet potater pie Elizabeth Santos |
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| © Copyright 2002 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Doncha cry, now Frankie boy, it’s gonna stop real soon We’ll row back yondah like we did on trails of dat ole moon And so we kepp on lookin up at all da pretty spark That flash like somethin fancy in a ballroom in da dark ~*~ You surprised me with the ending, but I should never be surprised by you... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I do believe this was just caught up in the rush of hurry....  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
EXCELLENT!! HAPPY FORTH OF JULY MY AMERICAN FRIENDS! Very very well done Elizabeth! ~Hugs~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Liz Such a different direction for you and so well done. A wonderful story! I really enjoyed the read! |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (big hugggsssssss) Oh Elizabeth, I feel so sorry for Frankie and his loss and the remembrance yet I also hope deep down he has found his love deep in his heart that will always be there and that he is having a terrific day today! (sigh) This is very wonderfully told, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Elizabeth, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
How sad, I didn't expect that. Nan |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Even though it's a sad story, I so liked the slang (is that the right word) it was written in. A very beautiful poem here Liz. Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
it's hard to do dialect poems. . .but, I should have known that you could make this one your own. . . (besides, I know that you hear the voices anyway. . . ) wonderful Liz. . . ------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Ah, Liz, one doesn't know how hard this is until they try it. You have made it look effortless and natural....all the more reason to hold your talent in such high regard  |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Thank you for reading this and for your kind comments Thank you Balladeer for recognizing the difficulties here. It does need some work, though, and a few changes, but I appreciate your comments Liz |
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