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Open Poetry #21

Lost Within.. Revised

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

0 posted 2002-06-30 06:05 PM

sunshine blocking
eyes covered...lost within

night walking
sweet talking...lost within

body bouncing
legs pouncing... lost within

moonlight dancing
feet prancing... lost within

back bending
money spending... lost within

deep sulking
angry bulking... lost within

Explanation: This poem explains how the sun veils your path, walking in the night, sweet talking to your love. Your body bouncing from emotion to emotion. Legs pouncing to catch up to the expectations of the world. Breaking your back trying so hard to become a part of the american dream. Spending all your money on senseless things. Deep depression releasing with anger. Lost within a broken heart.

[This message has been edited by Kellie_Cantrell (06-30-2002 06:10 PM).]

formerlyKellie
Junior Member

since 2002-06-30

Posts 10

1 posted 2002-06-30 09:22 PM

Do people not like my poetry? I usually get 2 or 3 replies and then they disappear

EagleScorpion
Senior Member

since 2000-03-08

Posts 1644
Here, Now, Forever

2 posted 2002-07-01 12:18 PM

hey man i have the same problem as you. nobody likes my poetry either!! LOL
i like how you always include an explanation with your work. keep doing that.. sometimes i wish everyone included something like that.. i know i dont
hey man dont worry about everyone in piptalk's laziness to read your work.. it's just laziness.. the same kind of laziness that perpetuates this greed based society you complain about. You wanna hear some complaints about """"ThE AMErIccAn DReaM"""""? i have many...

hey man my im: JoexxKnobxx
dont get on much but please drop me a line if you catch me i love to talk to new people

FEAR NOT DEATH,
IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN TO YOU

formerlyKellie
Junior Member

since 2002-06-30

Posts 10

3 posted 2002-07-01 12:39 PM

No. I just jumped to conclusions. They aren't lazy, nobody was online lol

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