Open Poetry #21 |
Captured by a Moment |
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Caught within the cracks of time When I sit down to write the rhyme In pause of pen where time stands still I think of you in coloured quill My heart at rest my soul at ease When comes the whisper on the breeze You write the rampant think of me In quill of coloured ink for me You write of love and days grown old You write of me by grace made bold You write my ending and my start You are my love, my hope my heart Passion's song now flowing forth In break of time for what it's worth In the moment resting here Music filling up my ear A silent moment held by hope Cleansed by this poetic soap You write the in and out of me You write the heart and pout of me You write of hope in tempered steel And of the things that make us real You write my yearning and my fear You are my strength and passion's tear The chorus rises, angels sing To hold the cleft of time on wing While thoughtful musings I peruse Initiates my faithful muse And through the stillness once again The words come soft as summer rain You write the soul and breath of me You write the life and death of me You are my summer and my spring My touch of song in everything My winter's day and autumn too I am the very breath in you Stay time of day, still the hours Take no time to seek the flowers Sit alone and ponder meek Words of grace to write my seek Held before a screen of blue Pictured hopes in words of you Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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© Copyright 2002 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
WOW!!! BRAVO!!! Keth this is such an awesome write, whatever and whoever inspired this in you is applauded, well done on a most wonderful flowing and imagery filled write so superbly penned, well done my friend ~HUGS~ Tracie Love is the life of the soul... |
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Neeraja Senior Member
since 2002-06-22
Posts 812The Netherlands |
This is a beautiful poem to start my day with!! I loved these lines.... |
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cherrypoptart Member
since 2002-06-09
Posts 109state of wordthiness |
Very very good poem. |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Simply gorgeous poetry, Kethry. I recall having read a lot of dark stuff from you. Its good to see you find a light once in a while. I loved this. *Jenn* How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Keth darling sister of my soul, and keeper of dreams guises, this is truly awesome in its conception and execution. The flow is as perfect as it can be, the words trickle over my soul filling me with joy and light. How beautiful is this piece by you? Let me see if I can explain how this makes me feel. There within my soul is a special place that is reserved for poetry, it is illumed and brighten daily by the gems that caress my eyes. This sparkling jewel not only illumes my soul it has spread its warming delight though my whole heart. This is the type of writing that some would be happy to produce just once, but you darling heart produce shafts of light like this time after time after time and I know you always will. Do I love it? Am I even now held enraptured and speechless? ………….. tell me beloved heart what do you think? and the correct response is not I think you’re saying I s’pose its all right Love and warm stuff As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Kethry! a ! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This is excellent Kethry! Such a wonderful cadence and rhyme throughout. I loved the repeat in the "of me" lines, each with their own unique internal rhyme ... it flows so beautifully ... loved this! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I can only repeat what Kit has said... Superb rhyme... |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
The elegance of my predecessors forbids my humble thoughts. Successors to that, with sturdy study, might give power to these words, now trite. But I toss in, with some acuity this tribute to your perspicuity. You quill the phrases we all think that we could do, if we had your ink. lovely..just lovely *S* Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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J. K. Mitchell Member
since 2002-01-12
Posts 311GA |
I'm in awe. This is wonderful. "The only love there is, is the love we make."--Prince |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Kethry, when all the superlatives have been used...may I simply add.. this is magnificent! If I had to choose my favourite stanza, which is almost impossible in this piece, it would be this one.. "You write the soul and breath of me You write the life and death of me You are my summer and my spring My touch of song in everything My winter's day and autumn too I am the very breath in you" ================================= This poem is very very meaningful to me... a keeper indeed. ~Hugs~ |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Keth, Excellent write, How come you held back so long? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I have few words to describe my admiration for this incredible writing....by far the best I've seen from you, Keth. I am impressed beyond words.... |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
The only thing that would make this better is if I wrote it. Great poem, girl. Nan |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Kethy: this is a beautiful piece of writing - I love your work Bella!! Brava! Roniece |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
a power by pen that no sword may touch and gift of eloquence that spills the ink like blood on white You have such a gift, Keth. Adrmirable write, dear lady. Jeff |
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mycafe Senior Member
since 2002-05-23
Posts 584 |
AWESOME !! Keep counting your blessings |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
That was quite breathtaking. These smiling eyes are just a mirror for the sun. |
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Krishankins
since 2002-06-23
Posts 972Texas |
I love the way you put this together!! It's a wonderful piece!! Krishankins A bird never flies so high that it can't hit the ground |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
What a beautiful flow...James |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I've read alot of your works, but this one is by far the best yet. Excellent cadence in every line and verse, great rhyme and the structure is superb. I don't know the inspire of this one but I do hope that it keeps spilling your way. Into my library this one goes. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Thanks to everyone. There was no conscious inspire in this one, I wrote it in the car on the way to shopping (or at least I dictated while I drove and my scribe wrote down the words.) then I came home tweaked it just a bit (beginning and end) and poted it without further thought. I am amazed at the overwhelming response. Thank you all so much. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Auntie Kethp this is as everyone says one of your utter best. Your words are incredibly special I believe you’ve got a gift for this, your FV is something exceptional when you write Rhyme you excel, and in this poem you candance is poetically perfect. Mum is right when she says your writing has never been better I agree with her. Lately your writing has excelled even your amazingly high standards. Truly exquisite writing Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Auntie Kethp this is as everyone says one of your utter best. Your words are incredibly special I believe you’ve got a gift for this, your FV is something exceptional when you write Rhyme you excel, and in this poem you candance is poetically perfect. Mum is right when she says your writing has never been better I agree with her. Lately your writing has excelled even your amazingly high standards. Truly exquisite writing Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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Kitty** Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 428Charlottesville,VA USA |
I brought this back to the top in case someone missed reading it ! I LOVE IT !!! Need I say more ?? ;-) ;-) Kitty If you can't make it so, |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
A standing ovation from me Kethry, Excellent! Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. ~Arthur Miller |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
You write the soul and breath of me You write the life and death of me You are my summer and my spring My touch of song in everything My winter's day and autumn too I am the very breath in you Kethry, this is simply breathtaking! Not just this verse... though it's so beautiful it could stand on its own... but every line! With perhaps the finest use of internal rhyme I've read lately, this perfect piece has captured me for that long moment of forever. *S* SUPERB!!!! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Most amazing work from you my dear friend... O Kethry, I am glad that I could read this today... regards, sudhir |
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Muys Member
since 2002-04-06
Posts 389The Netherlands |
No words Muys |
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Muys Member
since 2002-04-06
Posts 389The Netherlands |
No words Muys |
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Muys Member
since 2002-04-06
Posts 389The Netherlands |
Ha, something went wrong, but then...I like it a lot message from Titia to Muys: just give it some time Mom to let your reply appear, you see...your replies are there, impatient one [This message has been edited by Muys (07-04-2002 04:05 PM).] |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey Keth I'm glad this is back up because it's really great! |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
Keth, remind me in Tampa to give you lots of knuffels dear lady for I really enjoyed reading this beautiful poem. Wrote it while driving huh....that's what I always do on my 15miles to work, but then when I sit in my office I've forgotten all the lines again. What's that you said:"I dictate an my scribe wrote down the words" You take someone with you shopping only to write down your thoughts??? WOW why didn't I think of that earlier LOL Titia Like scattered leaves...my words will flow |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Titia, I ALWAYS take someone with me when I'm shopping. It's called the control factor. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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cjohnson/poet2079 Junior Member
since 2002-07-31
Posts 35va(757) |
Kethry, I came across your poem, and I was indeed "captured by the moment"; and thank you for your kind words. eyssence [This message has been edited by cjohnson/poet2079 (08-12-2002 01:40 PM).] |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Excellent! |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Keth - so very well done - a delight to read - Paul |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Lynne I think the amount of comments on this show how much you are admired and how much we can all relate to your brilliant words. This was simly outstanding and I'm afraid my humble words fall short in giving the justice this deserves. Take care......Sue I am in motion |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Lynne I just wanted to put this back where it belongs.....on top! Take care....Sue I am in motion |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This is poetry at it's utter best, Keth... I think you have bested your best... and your best has always been excellent. ~ hugs of excellence Lyra |
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