Are you up for a Challenge!

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 1999-08-03 11:59 PM

I've avoided asking for challenge phrases from you all, but now I'm ready to stretch my poetic muscle (it's located at the back of the brain right next to my silly cerebrum).

Give me a phrase - at least 4 words strung together as a thought (example: the wind tore at the screen door) - and I will write a poem of at least 8 lines using that phrase. Can't guarantee a 24 hour turn around, but that's what I aim for.....thanks

[This message has been edited by Poet deVine (edited 08-04-99).]

Ron

Administrator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-05-19

Posts 8669
Michigan, US

1 posted 1999-08-04 12:20 PM

You are much too good at this! So good, in fact, that I question whether such phrases are really much of a challenge any longer. So... let's add a little wrinkle!

Here's the phrase:

Where fireflies never fly

And here's the wrinkle:

Maintain the alliteration and assonance, much as Poe did in The Bells.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 1999-08-04 12:30 PM

This may take more than 24 hours! Yikes!

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

3 posted 1999-08-04 01:27 AM

Where the Fireflies Never Fly

O’er here where fireflies never fly
cannot fly!
Where darkness is a price too high
for the glow, glow, glow
of the firefly burning bright
While night winds kiss the earth
with promise of firefly birth
nary one is in heaven’s sight;
not a flare, flare, flare
no fireflies are there
to dust fairy lights in the sky
from the flicker, flicker, flicker
where the fireflies never fly

Ron

Administrator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-05-19

Posts 8669
Michigan, US

4 posted 1999-08-04 02:09 AM

That was a FAST 24 hours! And a wonderful job, I might add. I especially like the lines:

While night winds kiss the earth
with promise of firefly birth

Beautiful, flowing stuff!

Now, I obviously didn't add nearly enough wrinkles to constitute a real challenge for you. I'll try to do better in the future. In the meantime, let's see if anyone else can come up with something better able to stretch those poetic muscles. Hey, maybe we need a new forum: Stump deVine

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

5 posted 1999-08-04 03:37 AM

Funny you should post this challenge request...I've had this line running around in my head for days. I'm glad to be rid of it!!

Walking along the razor's edge of idiocy

Happy Writing!!

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

6 posted 1999-08-04 07:53 AM

Walking along the razor's edge of idiocy
spurned poet cut by a lover’s tongue
angry passion drips like vitriol
as words of retribution are slung
with the efficiency of a surgeon’s blade
to remove the offending heart
wished you now, you’d kept your complaint
so an argument would never start

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

7 posted 1999-08-04 12:39 PM

Well done!!! I can only hope to gain a fraction of your skill one day.

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

8 posted 1999-08-04 12:49 PM

Livin' la vida loca

Just kidding...
try this:

That which you see, cannot be

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

9 posted 1999-08-04 09:28 PM

Sorry it took so long...had to put in 8 hours of work today - to pay for my internet usage..

You feel a fluttering of leathery wings
brush quickly against your shoulder
a putrid scent envelopes you
and you gag upon it’s odor

then in a silver sliver of moon
the creature is revealed .
That which you see, cannot be;
you stop, your blood congealed.

A Devil hovers in the corner
fangs drawn at the ready
you reach out for the bed
legs suddenly unsteady

A God fearing soul, you always thought
an golden Angel would soon appear
but instead, the Devil came
to taunt you in your fear.

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

10 posted 1999-08-05 10:04 AM

Positively fantabulous! You amaze the unamazable dear lady.

Poeta nasciture, non fit
JP

Ladycat

Senior Member

since 1999-07-05

Posts 782
At the edge and a doorway,TX

11 posted 1999-08-05 03:50 PM

Like a Cat hanging upside down from a tree.. No offense to Alicat... Though sometimes I want to hang him upside down..

Phrase: Like a Cat hanging upside down from a tree..

------------------
Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

12 posted 1999-08-05 09:49 PM

I am like a duck swimming under the water
Like a cat hanging upside down from a tree
I live in perpetual confusion
No longer cataloged so neatly

You walked into my world last week
and suddenly my mind went blank
I began to make deposits at church
and weekly donations to the bank

Whirling through my head right now
are thoughts of love at first sight
all you did was deliver my mail
and make me believe in Mr. Right!

Sweet T
Member

since 1999-06-14

Posts 64
mesa, arizona maricopa

13 posted 1999-08-06 11:49 AM

Well I am truly amazed at your talent. Here is one
Long lonely life started anew with one kiss.
It is really a stretch but I thought I would join the band wagon.

P.S
I took your advise on my poem and it is titled Dear Love. I would really like your input on it.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

14 posted 1999-08-06 10:09 PM

Like a wounded turtle, Ted Macy shuffled down the hall
one hand was on his three-legged cane, the other on the wall
only two hundred feet long, it seemed to take him forever
but Ted would not rest til finished with this endeavor.

He’d been here at Happy Home for almost fifteen years
after burying his wife, Adelaide, and wiping away his tears
Living alone but never alone, Ted existed from day to day
hardly speaking to the others there, he didn’t have much to say

But today there was a change in Ted, his step was somewhat quicker
and in his rheumy eyes there was, a small excited flicker
Last night Mary’s peck on his cheek make him feel like this
now, his long, lonely life, started anew with just one kiss

Ladycat

Senior Member

since 1999-07-05

Posts 782
At the edge and a doorway,TX

15 posted 1999-08-07 03:45 AM

What can I say other than that you are the Queen.. All of these pieces were absolutely wonderful.. WOW!!!!

Now this is the woman that every man should want..

Love,
Lady

------------------
Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured.

redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

16 posted 1999-08-07 01:07 PM

She's not looking for Mr Right
she's just looking for Mr right now.

hehehe

I've tried to work on this for AGES to find a way to not make the poor girl sound like a ...err..loose woman.

Wanna try?

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

17 posted 1999-08-08 12:55 PM

You are too good,
My dear ms deVine,
try to do something,
with this very next line...

Phrase: An intricate maelstrom of madness

(ps. it's the title of a poem I posted today, but i really like the phrase!)

------------------
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.
-Unknown-
So let the sun beat down upon my face,
It's warmth will dry my tears.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

18 posted 1999-08-08 06:16 PM

She used to fall in love so easily
she was every con man’s prey
innocent but worldly wise
liberated but fey

So she's not looking for Mr. Right
she's just looking for Mr. right now
Her idea of a lover’s commitment
doesn’t include a lover’s vow

Burned too many times by lust
she thought was meant as love
reaching out to grab a hand
only to get an empty glove

Mr. Right may be exist somewhere
but she won’t pursue that dream
she’s learned a lesson from her past
use ‘em and lose ‘em is now her scheme

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

19 posted 1999-08-08 06:31 PM

Clutching his insanity he weaves
an intricate maelstrom of madness
His mother tried to give him comfort
though it filled her heart with sadness

He cried out for unseen enemies
and keened a song of the dead
Doctors probed and prodded, but
found nothing wrong with his head

he looked out to a world unknown
where he lived just days ago
but now he lived in a place called hell
where no living man should go

darkness shrouds his gaiety
gloom has become his friend
a forever of nothingness
in his world without end

(Note: if you look at the time of the previous reply and the time I posted this poem, it will tell you how long it took to write this one.)

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

20 posted 1999-08-09 09:53 PM

#@%$*& And I thought I'd get you on that one!!! Oh well, i say pouting, choo -r- joost 2 gut f'r mi!!!
(Well Done!, I am definitly IMPRESSED!)

------------------
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.
-Unknown-
So let the sun beat down upon my face,
It's warmth will dry my tears.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.