»
Discussion
»
Poetry Challenge!
»
Writer's block...=(
| Poetry Challenge! |
|
Writer's block...=( |
|
|
Fofinha New Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 8Clifton, CO, USA |
I am working on a poem and it just isn't coming out right... This is the only place I found that could possibly help me... HELP.... Throughut my life I've been on a search For the greatest treasure My one true love Though the way has been long And the roads many, The search is over My heart is full of song.. From the moment we met I knew I found The greatest treasure... My one true love |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Fofinha - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
It seems I've searched my whole life through for the greatest treasure my one true love Though the way has been long And the roads many, The search is finally over and my heart is full of song Then from the moment we met There was no doubt I found that treasure... My one true love You have a good rhythm and some good phrases..did you want to say more? This is sweet and simple! |
||
|
Fofinha New Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 8Clifton, CO, USA |
Thank you!!! Just by changing those few words, it is complete... I could add more..but I think you are right... |
||
Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
actully its fine as it is but when i start a poem i get the feelings down first, then make changes if needed. If you think you need to add a bit more then thats up to you. ------------------ The day is at it's end, but for you it's only just begining. |
||
|
redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
go to geocities and searchg for the diamond rio site.. and listen to the song " i know how the river feels" I think it says exactly what you are trying to convey. just a thought.. you won't be disappointed |
||
|
LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Fofinha It seems I've searched my whole life through for the greatest treasure my one true love Though the way has been long And the roads many, The search is finally over and my heart is full of song Then from the moment we met There was no doubt I found that treasure... My one true love hmmm... there seem to be four directions you may go with this, Fofinha - stop right there, or go outwards and/or inwards. Lets look at the last three options. First, outwards. You could pursue the obvious thread that you were alone and you were seeking the one person who could make you complete. Then you found him (her). Where once I was alone and dark, Half the person I am now, I'm completed because I found... My one true love. Or, the inward approach... I searched for the person I am, For the heart I knew was there. I found both within my soul... My own true love. Or, try changing the focus from searching for yourself, or for someone you could call your own, to a combination of the two... For example, the realization that you finally found yourself worthy of your own love, and thereby you found love in another. Something like this... I discovered when I loved myself, Is when I had finally found, The richness of another... My one true love. I'm new here, so if I have presumed too much, please tolerate me, forgive me, and guide me. |
||
|
Fofinha New Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 8Clifton, CO, USA |
Thank you all for your help with this... I ultimately have decided to stop where I left off with it... I am now working on several others... Again..Thanx.. =) |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||