Open Poetry #20 |
Borrowed girl |
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
The moon is but a borrowed light burning in black tar. A word is but a borrowed sound muted, still and far. Verse is but a borrowed sword shining through its dust. A borrowed girl, she burrowed in and tasted roots of rust. The sun is but a borrowed eye burning in its blindness. A song is but a borrowed cry coy of its own kindness. A pen is but a borrowed rod spilling lines of light. A borrowed girl, she burrowed in and turned snow into night. A borrowed girl, she burrowed in, shining among others. A borrowed girl, she burrowed in -- sweetly how she smothers. Ring is but a borrowed thing hanging on its spin. This borrowed girl, she's candy flame. We're melted words of tin. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Dang Michael!! This is SO good! I'm not even going to try to pick my favourite lines or stanzas... although by the closing stanza I was smiling broadly. Wonderful write my friend. ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
I must stand and applaud with Enchantress - wouldn't we all like to be borrowed now and then... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This borrowed girl, she's candy flame. CANDY FLAME? Hell yes!!! Candy flame... you ever stumble across some words that JUST RESONATE???? (of course you do. ) Um, mind if I borrow this? I could ramble on too...I was just thinking about words, and how they are truly inadequate symbols of emotion. You just proved me wrong. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks everyone. And S'en -- I can't stop smiling. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
what a way to go on borrowed time!well composed |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
You keep writing like this and we are gonna change your name to something closer to the brilliance of this poem.... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The moon is but a borrowed light burning in black tar. A word is but a borrowed sound muted, still and far. Verse is but a borrowed sword shining through its dust. A borrowed girl, she burrowed in and tasted roots of rust. The sun is but a borrowed eye burning in its blindness. A song is but a borrowed cry coy of its own kindness. A pen is but a borrowed rod spilling lines of light. A borrowed girl, she burrowed in and turned snow into night. =================================== A word is but a word ... till a poet takes pen in hand. A verse is but a verse ... till it resonates in rhymed understand. (sorry, couldnt resist) You outta be smiling...this rocks...you've been turning out some very very cool stuff Mike. You get lots of candy buttons for this one. (well you get 5 anyway..cuz thats the limit now) LOL ... and I don't know why ... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks to all. And thanks to you, Butterfly Slippers (memory rush!), for the candy. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
A pen is but a borrowed rod spilling lines of light. Interesting concepts in this piece. lmao at JM above... Like a red brick, |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I like this alot....it sings! |
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texasrose Member
since 2001-10-24
Posts 146 |
was it borrowed or burrowed? singing repeated word lines. It was a pleasure to read your lines. [This message has been edited by texasrose (04-26-2002 08:28 PM).] |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
bsquirrel~ this is just great....a wonderful use of meanings...NICE sir~ Lauren~ ~Sinking fast into |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Writing a poem like that is a great way to start the weekend. Thanks all. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mike, your poetry always made me stop and think, and this one, well it is just full of lines I wish I wrote...it's very inspiring and really, it's fantastic.... You rock. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Like this...James |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
BRAVO!!!! You deserve all the above praising with this one, very well penned, great write ~HUGS~ Tracie Love is the life of the soul... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Aw shucks. Thanks everyone! |
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