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Disconsolate [insert day of week here]
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Disconsolate [insert day of week here] |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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I am worn to the point of transparency there is nothing between me and the rain I [in times as this] refrain from speaking to strangers lest I be inadvertently stolen. I am oppressed by a heavy weaving of words they need be thrown off taped and tacked secured tightly elsewhere [and to keep them from coming back] they need be written. I am wobbly on my wheels I shouldn’t be driving. The yellow lines refuse to contain me- how many miles did you say it is to the horizon? [it doesn’t seem any closer] |
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| © Copyright 2002 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely done... captures well the feeling. Been there quite a bit of late so I can relate to this... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I am worn ----------------- I am oppressed ----------------- how many miles did you say it is to the horizon? [it doesn’t seem any closer] The words do need to be written. *S* And you find a way to write them that's anything but worn... what a fresh depiction of going on when all energy is exhausted, hoping when you don't see a flicker of light, writing in recognition that you are... still... in there somewhere. This aches, lady... and does so with perfection. *S* I am wobbly on my wheels I shouldn’t be driving. The yellow lines refuse to contain me- But about this wobbly business *very stern look* BE CAREFUL!!!!!! *S* I happen to know a suthern gal who couldn't make it without you. *S* |
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haydenjames Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 164Antigua & Barbuda |
captured my attention... Good write. My poetry is at: http://www.thehayden.org |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
for this, "[]", that would be Tuesday. . . and the miles go on. . . but, the lines look different. . . I like the form and the function of these "[]". . . they add the right touch to this. . . great work. . .  ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
Some say that the opening line(s) of a poem are the most important in that they can capture the reader's attention without letting go... "I am worn to the point of transparency" That did it for me. I enjoyed reading what is or was going on inside of your mind. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Jellybeans, A clever and witty write. Enjoyed |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey jb--you continue to write 'me'... this actually wore me out just reading...the angst of uncertainty coupled with tired determination in this speaks to us all, I believe. But we keep on truckin' (guess there's not much else to do, eh?) Missed you lady! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
jellybeans "I am worn to the point of transparency there is nothing between me and the rain" This felt like a song to me..so lyrical. I'm touched by the honest feeling and gritty determination you show. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 BRAVO!!! Yes, I too love the determination in your words, sweet friend, this is a powerful write for this Wednesday! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
thank you all so much.......i guess...this is one of the reasons i post, i don't see my grit, or determination until you read it between my lines.....you, the readers, my friends...inspire me to be more, inspire me to not give up.....thank you all |
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