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Open Poetry #20
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Caverns
| Open Poetry #20 |
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Caverns |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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Caverns All alone, I felt imprisoned in a transitory vision Not a spectrum of a prism could delightfully invade Into darkness I created, treading into deeds not slated On the tablet scrolled and dated, with my name in letters laid Set was I on new adventure, no one could refuse or censure This my quest duly indentured by my soul to my own self Willing was my heart to travel to the place that would unravel On a floor of rock and gravel, jagged edge and weathered shelf There upon a silent mountain, only gurgles of a fountain Interrupted paces counted to the cavern of my quest In was in a cave of darkness, barren rooms of granite starkness Cave uncharted through the markless tunnel path ofmy request In the dank of earthly womb, where hidden secrets were entombed And now at last will be exhumed in chambers yet to be unsealed Like a marble pillared palace, stone the footing and the ballast Rich the contents of the chalice, waiting there to be revealed Down the marble hall I wandered, into chambers where I pondered All the friendships I had squandered , in the course of passing years Jealousy in tilted tiles, Permanent mosaic smiles Lavishing deceitful aisles, dripping with another’s tears Slipping off a ledge I tumbled, rocks behind me rolled and rumbled Grasping at the floor I fumbled into ghostly cells of shame Eerie whispers, phantom voices, making pacts and giving choices Uttering in haunting noises, repetitiously my name I walked the hallway to a corner where I huddled safe and warmer But I found this to be former days of joyfulness and glee Now an empty spatial token of the words I left unspoken Of the promises I’d broken, deeds unfinished, floating free Stalactites weeping tears of stone from inner places of my own Eternal icicles were grown and dripping from my very soul Into a likeness growing clearer, images were drawing nearer Of a child so much dearer than one huddled in a hole There I sat and in my sorrow, found a stone that I could borrow Gem of beauty for tomorrow’s memories so rich and pure All the rooms of loneliness, the crystal glass of homeliness The spiral thoughts of only-ness I soon would leave behind the door In closets of apology, in hallways of astrology Through windows of psychology, no stone unturned or left behind Filtering through rocky ceiling, chimes of hope were softly peeling Light of day was now revealing end of journey through the mind Elizabeth Santos [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (06-07-2002 09:39 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I've never read soul searching written about so beautifully! I'm lost for words. This is so precious! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
This has much of the same enchanting flow of an Edgar Allen Poe poem....which I do very much enjoy.... And I enjoyed this as well....Outstanding write... Thank You, Liz... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Lady Santos! An epopee! A Keeper... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, A true epoppe to me. Discription never better and written to the letter. Love Sy |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Liz You take us with you, into the depth of your poet's soul. Wonderful and honest writing! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The flawless rhythm, the sublime rhyme woven on a master's loom, the superb storyline... geesh, Elizabeth!!! *S* I expect excellence from you and you STILL managed to floor me with the magnificence of this write!!! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ooops... dad-blasted library button really SHOULD be available on edits. *G* |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
hmmmmm. . . I've walked through here before. . . well done. . .  ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Stalactites weeping tears of stone from inner places of my own Eternal icicles were grown and dripping from my very soul Into a likeness growing clearer, images were drawing nearer Of a child so much dearer than one huddled in a hole There I sat and in my sorrow, found a stone that I could borrow Gem of beauty for tomorrow’s memories so rich and pure All the rooms of loneliness, the crystal glass of homeliness The spiral thoughts of only-ness I soon would leave behind the door In closets of apology, in hallways of astrology Through windows of psychology, no stone unturned or left behind Filtering through rocky ceiling, chimes of hope were softly peeling Light of day was now revealing end of journey through the mind ==================================== OH MY OH MY!!! where are my knee pads...let the worship begin!! Liz this is absolutely awesome...what an accomplished write this is.... anyone who didnt read this aloud has missed out and needs to come back and get it right  What very very impressive rhyme, rhythm, meter, cadence, and vocabulary this is. The internal rhymes are done so flawlessly that all I can do is shake my head and smile. Then add to that the imagery, expression, emote, theme, poetic phrasing and verbiage, and what we have is a masterpiece...and proof of your talent and gift of verse and muse. Superb writing Poetess...submit this to everywhere...its going in my library for safekeeping...filed under L...for what I can LEARN from it while loving it  When man is lead to arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
ethome. I'm so glad you liked this one. Thank you so much for your kind words Magnus, yes it is the saame rhyme scheme that Poe used. THank you! Sushine. You light up my evening, Thanks SY, You taught me the word epoppe. It;s so nice to see you use it. Martie, Thank you dear for your patience in reading this. I know you are very busy, J called last night Suthrn, You do have an appreciation for the musicality of a verse, and that is one of my favorite things, Thank you!!! Sven, I hope your mind is not like mine! My memory is slipping, so I have to fantasize about it's contents!. Thank you!! Janet Marie, Thank you for your generous words and for taking the time to write in length about this poem. I'm glad you liked it. Check you e-mail. LIz |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
*library* When man is lead to arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
 What more can I do but take my hat off to you - what a star you are when it comes to the rhythm of the written word. Elizabeth - this was simply outstanding work, and I saved it!There is nothing means more to me than |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Sharon, You are such a cute little star and that hat is adorable! Thank you for such a pleasurable response. And thank you for your kind comments. Take Care |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
JM, I had never heard that quote before. Thank you for posting it --Very good!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I just came back to read this oh so very impressive piece of poetry again. Outstanding Liz!! here is the whole quote from above... I couldnt fit it all in the space allowed for our signatures... its a poets quote for sure "When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses." John F. Kennedy |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Liz this is simply amazing. And the style, which I do not know at all how to do..you handled it so well. I think I need some classes with you. Sandra |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Janet Marie, YES, Poetry cleanses. THank you for the quote and for your interest in this poem Take care Catalinamoon, THank you so much for your kind comments to this poem. Much appreciated Kugs Liz |
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GOlDsparklESS Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428central nj |
this is truly a masterpiece. I just hope I never have to go into the cavern you describe of so well. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Goldsparkles, Thanks for your comments, This just shows I have a twisted mind. You will never have to go there TTake care Liz |
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