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Open Poetry #20
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angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom

0 posted 2002-06-05 08:51 PM


Together Forever, the face I will see .

I love you now,
I loved you then,
I’ll love you tomorrow,
I’ll love you when .

When I wake in the morning,
When I slip in to sleep,
I loved when we met,
It’s a love I will keep .

Even when you leave,
When you walk out that door,
I’ll love you then,
Deep inside of my core .

This love I can’t help,
It will destroy me I know,
It’s a love you don’t feel,
I wish you could show .

I want us forever,
I want us to last,
I want us to have,
A love that’s been cast .

Together forever,
I want us to be,
I need you I know,
Without you I’m not me .

This love I can’t loss,
Even when it causes my end,
The letters on my gravestone,
‘Please come and mend’.

This love is so tragic,
In my last moment of life,
I will see it forever,
Eternally my strife .

Written by Tom Baker .©

'There is only a very thin line between genius and insanity, this is measured only on sucess; I am proud to be considered an under-achieving genius'.

© Copyright 2002 angelswing - All Rights Reserved
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
1 posted 2002-06-06 04:38 PM


now this has just enough lyric and rhythm to make it sing. . .

well done. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2002-06-06 04:41 PM


Being an old songwriter myself I'd have to agree with Sven...it's got a real musical flow.
Tremendously sad all the same....maybe for the blues!

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2002-06-06 05:08 PM


Tom~
This is truly very nice~
A wonderfully soft read~
It's good to see you !
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
         noles1@totcon.com                    

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
4 posted 2002-06-06 07:04 PM


Tom darling boy this is an absolutely wonderful piece from you. I love it, The flow and the structure of this is excellent, and the rhythm and lyric is perfect for a Blues song, I can see this being sung and a smoky bar somewhere by a sultry singer. Very well written

This is exquisite writing darling absolutely exquisite, I love it utterly utterly


Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

Breathe through the heat of our desire
Thy coolness and they balm
Let sense be dumb let flesh retire
Speak through the eathquake wind and fire
Oh

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2002-06-06 07:40 PM


Nice writing...James
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
6 posted 2002-06-06 08:27 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Tom, this is soooooo beautifully but all so sad, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you and being a rising songwriter, I know this will make a wonderful song too! (sigh) Our hearts go out to you, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light alwaysd shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

angelswing
Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705
United Kingdom
7 posted 2002-06-14 11:12 AM


Oh my god; thankyou all so much ... i never expected so many of you lovely people to read and reply to this . Your all so kind, I truly wish that I was a good enough singer to put the poem to music - I'm afraid my voice sounds a little something like a crocodile mixed with a parrot (quite a funny thought actually) . Anyhows, thanks again your kind words as always light up my heart .
L.of.L. Tom.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

'There is only a very thin line between genius and insanity, this is measured only on sucess; I am proud to be considered an under-achieving genius'.

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