Open Poetry #20 |
When Poets Perceive... |
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
When Poets Perceive in combine thoughts entwine like limbs around a lover how’d he know that she’d know him better than any other and clicking her thoughts as they race off, to send a message of sorts hoping that somehow someday like a rifle’s report someone would hear loud and clear the message she was clicking while that clock that loudsome clock kept on insistently ticking to be lent then back to childhood to when the days were long to match her daddy’s stride to hear him sing his song for she would dream again and maybe plan things right oh let her see her yesterday when the future seemed bright… she rushes forward into the day hurriedly whisking past the noise seems like thousands command her time leaving little time for selfish joys but an inner thought is searching and she wishes for the time then suddenly she’s latching onto words that rhyme in combine thoughts entwine like limbs around a lover how’d he know that she’d know him better than any other there’s that thought again she waves her hand to dispel it wonders where the words come from and whatever would compel them, wonders when her musings will be done wonders where they’re coming from these words that haunt her soul age old questions taunt her today’s fallacies flaunt her she hurriedly casts delusions aside hugs reality close to her hide wondering when will this wild ride buck her off into the morrow wondering when the sorrow will stem this surly tide in combine thoughts entwine like limbs around a lover how’d he know that she’d know him better than any other you’ve heard her sigh you’ve sighed for her you’ve walked there, in her shoes you know like she in reality must do what she must do so you sit and ponder and ramble a note hoping that she’ll read what you wrote for you would have her chase this goal as she wanders to dream by the shoal in combine thoughts entwine like limbs around a lover how’d he know that she’d know him better than any other as you entreat her to “write on!” 01.20.01 |
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© Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is a great piece... And this... thoughts entwine like limbs around a lover" ... is a great verse!!.. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
I'm saving this...felt too close to me to be able to do anything other. Not one verse, one word, could I change or sway away from. Thanks for this. Sincerely, Reg |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nan...thank you... Regina...I read your work religiously...sometimes I cannot answer because I am a little green around the gills with envy...other times I manage to scrape a few words of appreciation...but read you, I always do... so dear, this compliment from you? It's a keeper... [This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-01-2002 09:04 AM).] |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Kari - I really enjoyed this hon. It touched a chord in me, you know. Made me think, and feel. thanks for it K |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
Love this Karilea, especially these lines in combine thoughts entwine like limbs around a lover how’d he know that she’d know him better than any other what a special feeling…to know someone better than any other. Love the way you phrased this stanza. Everything is possible in the game of life |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This is incredible and beautiful. The repetitive stanza really makes it, but the way you did the rest I find fascinating, the rhyme and flow is perfect. Sandra |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Another incredible write, which grabbed me from the start.. and didn't let me go until the last word... then I had to read it again..I smiled and nodded.. therefore I am keeping this one! Awesome write! ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"you’ve heard her sigh you’ve sighed for her you’ve walked there, in her shoes you know like she in reality must do what she must do so you sit and ponder and ramble a note hoping that she’ll read what you wrote for you would have her chase this goal as she wanders to dream by the shoal" WOW!!! Oh my gosh, this one touched my heart so deeply, you always seem to grasp human emotions so well in your sun-shining words, for right now I love my Joanna so so much and every time I write a word, I just kill to know that she'll read what I wrote her and show her how magical and lovely she is and how special she is! (sigh) This is breathtaking, sweet friend, write on, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I entreat you...WRITE ON! Nicely done....this is so you... "seems like thousands command her time leaving little time for selfish joys but an inner thought is searching and she wishes for the time then suddenly she’s latching onto words that rhyme" You always find the time to spread a ray of sunshine through your pen.....many different ways! The role of poetry is to utter the un-utterable; to open up |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
age old questions taunt her today’s fallacies flaunt her she hurriedly casts delusions aside hugs reality close to her hide wondering when will this wild ride buck her off into the morrow wondering when the sorrow will stem this surly tide Some thought provoking questions here, Karilea...I hope she got her answers. and I really love the poem! ~ thoughtful hugs Lyra |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Kari darling sister of my heart this is an absolutely wonderful piece from you. I love it, The flow and the structure of this is excellent, You really are a fine writer. I love your sense of purpose in this, I was going to say I’ll lock you up so you will do nothing but write write write And don’t give me that pouty look either, it doesn’t work Excellent writing utterly utterly excellent, you see what I mean about excellence? Hmmmm? You see you can and you will, Puck exits stage right, grinning and murmuring I was right Love and warm stuff As always Mushy Breathe through the heat of our desire |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Karilea~ Awed ! *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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blakloks Member
since 2002-06-01
Posts 60 |
i love the repitition of the itallicised words- it gives the poem a great flow and smoothness. this is the greatest piece ive ever read...please oh please, never stop writing |
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