Open Poetry #20 |
This Old Man |
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
he hunched slowly to us, clearing our plates and the morsels of food spilled carelessly on the table i said thank you in his dialect, almost vehemently, hoping my gratitude could somehow turn more tangible he didn't acknowledge but left for the next table he would do that all night, armed with chilli-stained cloths and a cigarette gripped in the mouth, ignored by most too absorbed in their tales of joy and woe [This message has been edited by faterider (05-27-2002 08:41 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
faterider, you paint a great picture of the invisible man (a table clearer) Excellent! Kethry |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
faterider I too say excellent write. Enjoyed |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
thanks for reading, Kethry and Seymour Tabin...i felt an overwhelming sadness that this elderly still had to work for his living...i was almost embarrassed to be seen eating... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is a vivid 'portrait'. I enjoyed it very much |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
You painted this portrait so very vividly, faterider....It really made him real to me...I could almost smell his cigarette smoke....yuk! beautifully expressed! ~ vivid hugs Lyra |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
WOW, I agree with Madame C's comment, I could envision the entire image reading this, it is very powerful! (sigh) You always make such wonderful visions with your words, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Heng, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
thanks Poet deVine for reading and for picturing the man in your mind..i hate it when someone goes on, neglected by society.. Lyra, LOL about the cigarette smoke...returning vivid hugs back.. Noah, thanks for your fantastic compliment..it is readers like you, who somehow never tire of my wordy, cliched musings that make me persever ...otherwise i would have given up writing a long time ago... thanks all for reading |
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Mon Cherie
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922Land of Never-ending Summers |
Well done, faterider! You've described really well something that many of us might have taken for granted. I guess the old man has grown cynical, thinking that gratitude from the patrons are just insincere. Afterall, how many would remember him after they left the place? _,,,^.^,,,_ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Yes, the Invisible Man...well done! |
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