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A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #20 |
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Embracing Who He Has |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada 
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 This photo has been taken with the family's permission Play Amazing Grace ~* Embracing Who He Has *~It’s seems I remember her arriving, it was in spring. How ironic is it that she is leaving in the summer of the worst winter of her life. We have been watching her slip so away slowly over these past several weeks, but still I keep reading to her. She is dying and we all cover our eyes or turn away. Each day she is smaller, thinner, weaker, and with each passing sun/moon cycle she fades. Her family holds vigil, waiting, remembering, and preparing for their loss and we all feel so helpless. I find myself wanting to breathe some of my life into her frailty and give her strong wings to fly. It is my turn to sit in the chair and read to her; I am ashamed that I am sneaking sideward glances to see if her ribcage is laying still so I could leave, go on with my daily life and forget this pain exists. I find myself wishing to hasten her departure, shorten her suffering, as I am so ill-equipped at the art of how to gracefully let any living thing go. I look at this shell of a woman and my emotions Lay like huge stones in my belly. I smile as I read, noticing the family listens too, and I feel good knowing that for at least thirty minutes today I have eased their suffering somehow. I find myself half-hoping at this day’s end I will return next time and find she has done the final deed. I have now learned this is the only process in life that has it’s own timing you need to ready for it, as it is final. Funny how people seem to be able to skirt around dieing and death, like dusting off the nick-knacks in our lives. We hardly embrace the physical being we so cherish, and instead cling to their memory instead. How tidy, and so terrible orderly we make their passing. The retrospect becomes greater than the now. How I am really going to miss this dear loving soul. For some reason I rise up, lean over and kiss her cheek. As I realize the fear is I can’t face the fact that at this moment I miss the used-to-be-her. Her grandson sees me and takes his cue to kiss her. He sees her so completely differently than all of us. How strange - my son saw my Mother differently too, perhaps they have no comprehension of how dying changes the ones we love, or perhaps they do. I wonder what he sees? Do you suppose that he is embracing who he has, rather than waiting to cling to her memory? ~* For the Lum Family *~ Let's spend less time worrying about when our life is going to end, and more on when it's going to start! [This message has been edited by Mysteria (05-14-2002 09:35 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Mysteria 1997 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Mysteria... this is wonderful writing. It pictures the sad part of life, living with death. You have given me much to think about. alan |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is wonderful, Sharon - I do know how that family is feeling... Just holding her hand and helping her to be ready... I hope you give them this photo - I know it will mean a lot to them. What a great poem, my friend..  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You weren't supposed to make it so strong! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Alan ~ Thank you - I see this all the time in my volunteer work and took a chance writing about it. This little boy brought this piece on, as it is as if he can't see what we all see, and I wish "grown-ups" were that protected. He sits there reading Dr. Suess to her and holding her hand. Nan ~ It takes time...lots of loving hands and I think this is how it was planned intentionally. Thank you 'ma friend. Sunshine ~ Not sure what you mean by strong - too graphic? All I can say is this was a hard subject to approach, but I thought that Jeffrey (the little boy in the photo) taught me something the past few times I have gone to read to his Gramma, so I would share that lesson. Martie ~ Thank you, I tried to show the love the family has, and all of us in Extended Care too. She will be missed. [This message has been edited by Mysteria (05-14-2002 09:47 PM).] |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sharon Such feeling captured in photo and words...you captured the beginning and the end..and both, with love. Hugs! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
This has left my heart full and my mind speechless. Thank you. ThisDiamond |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Sharon, we can learn so much from watching children. Well done poetess. ~Hugs~ |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
There is a lot to be learned in this process if we don't run away from it. Thank you both so much for reading this one I truly appreciate it. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (tears fall down my cheeks) God Bless that sweet little boy and his grandmother, sweet friend, I too can't help but cry readig this piece, but not only in sadness for feeling their family's tears in her passing, but also of the love in that little boys heart and how children always embrace such love so truly like that! (BIG HUGGGSSSSS) My heart cries out to them and I hope they know deep down even when her time comes, she will always be in all their hearts and her love for them will never ever be forgotten and will awlays remain true in heart! (sigh) This is sad but beautiful, sweet friend, you are a true angel, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sharon, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Life is fragile. This child somehow has the strength to accept and cherish this moment. This jesture of a kiss on his gramma's forehead defines love, and carpe diem, better than a million words. |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Sharon This was so very moving yet so wonderfully written. I imagine this would have been so difficult to write and I hope you share it with her family. I admire you and your courage and I shed a tear when I read this as it was very close to home for me. Take care my friend........Sue Suetang |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Ah Noah ~ You are just too darn sweet you know that? They do know all that you say this family, and as a matter of fact that is why I chose them to write about. They sit there and celebrate what was her life, telling her of this time and that, etc. to remember the good things that made her who she is. These very memories will help them through as if you celebrate the life of a loved one that dies, instead of concentrating on the the loss too much, the grieving process is over quicker and it doesn't hurt to remember them, it actually makes smiles Kacy ~ You bet it does! Sue ~ Ah I am sorry to remind you, but sometimes it is good to remember - as it also brings back the wonderful things of those we lost too. (((Hugs honey))) [This message has been edited by Mysteria (05-15-2002 12:29 AM).] |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I'm sure the Lum family is grateful to you for your perception and grace in approaching this situation with the written word. The final sleep is not ever an entirely acceptable thing but we have to live on with the memories! Very nicely done! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Yes Mysteria I do believe he is embracing who he has...through a childs eyes the world looks simpler...James |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Sharon THis is an absolutely stunning piece of writing. I applaud both the words and the heart from which they came. You are an amazing person, Sharon, and you have a very rare gift which you willingly and lovingly give. Many have been the fortunate recipients of your compassion, and I don't believe that the end of your life will be as insignificant as dusting off knick knacks, but rather it will be a celebration of having known you and the memories for so many will bring a smile, How beautifully you write, I wish this were published so many more could see it Admirable and cuddly hugs Liz |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sometimes we read words in here that we simply dont have the words to convey how deeply it touches and effects us. This is one of those times for me.... so I'll just say you did the family justice and thank you for sharing this compassionte piece with us. heart-hugs poetess Sharon mothyme |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Do you suppose that he is embracing who he has, rather than waiting to cling to her memory? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is so precious. Indeed I do believe children see though eyes of today. It brings tears seeing that I need to cherish the time I have with my loved ones. Thank you for sharing this with us. Deb |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Thank you all very much for reading, and I can see by Blooming Rose's comment the message was received from this little tyke. Cherish the moments we have, for one day they will be someone's memory. Thanks again.  ~* Carpe' Diem *~[This message has been edited by Mysteria (05-15-2002 09:52 AM).] |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Sharon this touched me deeply, it’s coming up to the anniversary of my mum’s passing and just yesterday was the anniversary of my Nana’s passing. So close together in dying as they were in life. They had both lived happy and full lives and although we all miss them, I know they are together still. This is brilliant message and a beautiful poem your words have got to comfort this family, and I can feel the peace that surrounds this time for the family. They have my prayers, as do you for the support you are obviously giving the family You are a wonderfully compassionate and loving soul, I know the angels who wait for her are smiling.    Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
ms mysteria enjoyed this haunting healing made many thoughts reappear |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
 I know and understand.She said burn ... together. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This is so very beautiful, Mysteria... it touches every heart cell. |
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Muys Member
since 2002-04-06
Posts 389The Netherlands |
Dear Mysteria I can find the real words I will say to you It is sopathetically and so nice she is and handing over to Gods will.Iwas deeply .be moved. The little boy and his Grandmere. You are the support of the famely i think. Ilove you dear, Muys |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Marsha ~ A heart hug to you as anniversaries are hard to deal with, so I shall have you in my prayers. Dark Stranger ~ Thank you for the read, and I am glad it spoke to you. bsquirrel ~ I am so glad you were touched, thank you. Muys ~ I do readings in a special room in th Extended Care facility at the hospital for those are are gravely ill and dying. Reading seems to comfort them and also gives the family time to get their errands done during this process. There are five of us that do this on floors, and we rotate, as it is very stressful. Thank you. |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Sharon, Nothing seems to alter life as much as facing death. Such a wonderful gift you have shared in this write. Bless you. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
God Bless this lovely lady... and you, Mysteria, for doing all that you do...  |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Applauds ferverntly!!!! Sharon, this is excellent. I have to mirror my last sentiments...You, my dear, do not need to worry about that da dum thing...just keep on pooring out this excellent free verse!! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Thanks everyone and to dear Mrs. Lum for allowing me to do this. She was born in 1921, and came here in 1934 with her parents who worked in a logging camp in the interior of B.C. as cooks, she too cooked until she left her son's restaurant in Chinatown in 1989. After surviving cancer twice, she had a serious stroke and became a resident at the extended care facility, where her demon resurfaced. She has been a real gentle flower and added so much in the two years I have known her. Thanks again. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
You do this so well |
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