Two Poised Needles Debating Direction

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Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2002-05-10 05:23 PM

If she could sing just once more
then perhaps the heart of her
would not be crawling towards some unknown fate.
Secrets unravel each time her lips come unsealed
and she would wholly hate to become some avenue
of too much personal information;
but the beat of the path is lonely now
as she walks along
the silence of a lowered head
whispering to feet that seem to move without her.
Each inch of movement causes a stir of pain
as she sees her doom spread across a horizon
that seems to visciously await another victim.
People passing stare at her face
wondering at the passion on what they think
is merely a face born of the blue of sadness
but the beat of the path she is on sings a lonlely song
and all the colors of her emotions have formed
to make one last color before her calm body
gives in to a torrent of tears.
........no longer blue.........
black
a haven
a resting of mind before going on to numbness
a way of saving herself from the unchantables in life
black
but quickly fading
and finally
tears
and drowning one last time.

How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so.
~Sarah MacLachlan~

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

1 posted 2002-05-10 05:27 PM

Temptress,
you work just blew me away, amazing and powerfully painted.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-05-10 05:40 PM

(big hugggsssssss) This is sooooo sadly beautiful, sweet friend, I hope once again the side that has the music and hope in her can win a rebuttal against the sorrow and win this debate and that she can sing once more without an argument in stand again! (sigh) This is poignant and striking, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Jennifer, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

3 posted 2002-05-10 05:43 PM

Jenn darling girl this is sooooooooo incredible The depth of this is utterly amazing, I’m awe-struck by this wonderful piece. You know I love this don’t you.

Utterly utterly perfect poetry, you never cease to amaze me with your skill

Love and warm stuff
As always
Mushy

To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

4 posted 2002-05-10 06:29 PM

The silence of a lowered head?! Dude! (

)

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

5 posted 2002-05-10 08:29 PM

Jenn this is one of your very best...it really packs a punch.

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

6 posted 2002-05-10 08:32 PM

Temptress - your writing is blossoming like the flowers in spring!

Cor

Auguste

Member Elite

since 2000-02-16

Posts 3953
By the sea

7 posted 2002-05-12 10:13 PM

You're a very good writer, Jennifer. You write sadness like no other.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

8 posted 2002-05-13 12:04 PM

This just oozes pain and sadness. Incredible, Jennifer, just incredible.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

9 posted 2002-05-13 12:09 PM

Jenn~

This is amazing....my words could never do this justice....hugsssss you

Lauren~

I would rather have one breath of his hair,
one kiss of his mouth,
one touch of his hand
than an eternity without it.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

10 posted 2002-05-13 07:56 AM

I loved the image that your title provoked, Jenn...you write in mind thought...very intricate and descriptive, and compelling.

I've read this a number of times (hope ya didn't think I was ignoring you--smile)
I am a fan of your poetry, yanno...again, it's as intimate as "mindprint".

tracie66
Member Elite

since 2000-01-18

Posts 4713
Australia

11 posted 2002-05-13 08:02 AM

WOW!!!
BRAVO!!! dear Temptress this is fantastic, well done on a very fine write
~HUGS~
Tracie

Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe

LRbaba
Junior Member

since 2002-05-07

Posts 30
Dallas, Texas,

12 posted 2002-05-13 10:54 AM

yes i liked this
resignation and
a fade to black

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

13 posted 2002-05-13 03:20 PM

yes. . .what serenity said. . .

it's a walk through the thoughts. . . it's funny how your thoughts seem to be ours. . . almost like you're walking through them for us. . . yes. . . and then, you show them to us as you see them. . . and we know. . .

thank you. . . I find that more and more, your work is growing. . . follow that voice. . .

(btw, you come up with the coolest titles. . . wish I could do that. . . )

---------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

[This message has been edited by Sven (05-13-2002 03:20 PM).]

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