Open Poetry #20 |
When An Old Man Dies (Challenge Poem) |
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
An old man dies when time is past when burdens are great to the last when lives known have all said farewell when memory’s lost, nothing to tell An old man passes from life’s page no longer standing on the stage Taking with, part of history Leaving behind, life’s great mystery The withered hands of countless shakes of garden hoes, hatchets and rakes Too many miles tilling a row Dying now slow, letting it go Eyes that show the brilliance of youth from wagons to lemonade booth Girls at the dance, the promenade trying times, wishing he had stayed The drive of youth and passion fires lost to age, as the flame expires Weary, worn, lost vitality Time to go, set the stallion free. Lips still soft, wishing one last kiss Dreams that wander, moments of bliss hearing the children's laughs and cries Old man’s vision, lost when he dies. |
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© Copyright 2002 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
The drive of youth and passion fires lost to age, as the flame expires Weary, worn, lost vitality Time to go, set the stallion free. Lips still soft, wishing one last kiss Dreams that wander, moments of bliss hearing the children's laughs and cries Old man’s vision, lost when he dies. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Barry! Barry! Barry! Now THIS is one of the best things I have seen you do!! Wonderful write, and challenge well met! ~hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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NapalmsConstantlyConfused
since 2001-05-15
Posts 529 |
really good stuff here, magnus. bravo. -Dave |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big huggssssssss) oh Barry, this is soooooo passionate and powerful, sweet friend, when that time comes around he does passa way, but in his spirit it will always live on with the laughter and beauty of youth and happiness! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Barry, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Magnus darling boy as always you write with such skill and this is excellent writing from you. Exquisite flow and the rhyme are utterly utterly spectacular. No one manages to write like this and this darling heart is utterly utterly superb truly one of your best and yes you’ve taken the challenge and surpassed it Utterly utterly perfect [center] Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 [This message has been edited by Marsha (05-08-2002 08:20 PM).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: Perfect! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Immortal! Well done my friend. ThisDiamond I am going to try |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
...Leaving behind, life’s great mystery... Dying now slow, letting it go... Another challenge well met. The finale page... Great read. Thanks, Melton |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Excellent write, Magnus, enjoyed reading... ~Tier |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Wow Barry! This one gets the boot up onto the front page again |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Well now, this is very well done! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Barry Wonderfully written! |
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