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Open Poetry #25
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Blue Rain
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Blue Rain |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Blue Rain The rain mists blue my windowpane. It gist’s the hue, of my refrain. To verbal down the gutters draw And symbol nerves to flutter raw. It echoes in the midnight’s eve Plays upon my minds naïve Crests the waves of coming tides Where the essence seems to ride. It soaks me to the very skin A skin that’s grown to very thin To prance and dance upon my brain To wash and leach my beach of vain The hues of blue are neon bright They shimmer glimmer in the night. And tumble me into the dark This pounding rain, its drumming bark It whips me with its punctured Braille. And grinds me to a sandy shale. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
this reminds me... just outside my bedroom is a gutter and when it rains (which it does, alot) it drips, and drips, and.. drips! apparently the walls to my room are thin, 'cause it drives me ten times more insane then I am, hearing it crystal clear. But.. I love the rain! and Blue rain, so soothing  Love this. oh and... g'morning Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
This has got it all! Perfect rhyme and meter Delightful inner rhyming And of course the masterful phrases by the master himself How can they keep getting better? Superb poem Liz |
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Fred Hobbs Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 329Tallahassee, Florida, US |
Whew! They DO keep getting better. Excellent Sy. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Just beautiful! I can hear and feel this rain. Love, Margherita |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Sy, This is incredibly well written. Thought we'd have to wait for Janet to do it justice with her wonderful insights into your writing, but Elizabeth beat her to it. Very much enjoyed this. Thanking you as ever for sharing your talent with us. This one worthy of rereading many times for the sheer joy of experiencing a master's work. Wow! Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Beautiful Sy...Good Saturday morning to ya! Chai tea today....I'll save you a cup. ~Morning hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Seymour - exquisite!! No rain here though...still white with snow. Brrrr...where is Enchantress with the tea? Toast and grape jelly this morning? hugs, Chris oops..had to edit....Nancy was right above me with the tea!! lol. "Hope" is the thing with feathers- that perches in the soul.... -Emily Dickinson [This message has been edited by Nightshade (03-01-2003 09:30 AM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The rain mists blue my windowpane. It gist’s the hue, of my refrain. To verbal down the gutters draw And symbol nerves to flutter raw. It echoes in the midnight’s eve Plays upon my minds naïve Crests the waves of coming tides Where the essence seems to ride. It soaks me to the very skin A skin that’s grown to very thin To prance and dance upon my brain To wash and leach my beach of vain The hues of blue are neon bright They shimmer glimmer in the night. And tumble me into the dark This pounding rain, its drumming bark It whips me with its punctured Braille. And grinds me to a sandy shale. ==================================== I am moth giddy!!!!!  Sy!!???!!?? DO you KNOW how awesome this poem is??? Do you know how cool its whole entire of inspire is?? Did you have a big smile on your face when ya got done writing it, cuz you knew ya had just penned the creme of the le'crem?? Did Randy do a happy dance? My oh my...you are the king of cool me sweet Sy... To verbal down the gutters draw that line alone serves proof to what I am saying..then just look at the imagery...then the internal rhymes and word play..the symbolism, and personification. It whips me with its punctured Braille. only you could crown it off with a couplet of waay cool with that line of metaphored brilliance. You say your skin's too thin ... but I am so diggin the skin you're in     |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Sy,only you can come up with the perfect rhymes and smooth delivery day after day *s hugss M |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
I pictured the drops in detail, upon my face...Enjoyed. ThisDiamond |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Sy, So glad Janet came along...she never fails to teach me more, tho. I am getting better at seeing what she points out, I love what ~all~ she just said. so true!!! This really is especially perfect!! I like rereading it, just for the fun of it... Enjoyed, Happy Saturday, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The rain mists blue my windowpane. It gist’s the hue, of my refrain. =========================== It echoes in the midnight’s eve Plays upon my minds naïve Crests the waves of coming tides Where the essence seems to ride. ============================ The hues of blue are neon bright They shimmer glimmer in the night. ============================= just look at the hues of blues you paint in our minds with your rhymes divine.    |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
So beautiful, Seymour.... By the way, it's raining in my part of Florida today, too...... Heart Hugs... Ethel |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Alyssa, Good morning darlen the rain can be nice. Elizabeth, Your answer is a treasure, thank you. Fred, Thank you for the excellent. Margherita Thank you so much. Pat, Between the two they made my week-end. Nancy, THank you sweet, I'll be there soon. Nightshade Chris, I'll have it for lunch,lol thank you. JM, You spoil me rotten I won't be able to wear a hat, LOL ThisDiamond Thank you dear. Pat, Ant she something. JM, Thanks for the beautiful pic's and the bump. Ethel, You are a dear, no doubt about it. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Seymour, you truly can paint like the ocean in your words and like Janet said, you are capable of writing in so many values and hues! (big hugggsssss) I love this, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Seymour, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Noah, Your picture and reply is a delight. |
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CSKpoet Senior Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 845Island in Paradise |
Just more awesome than your poetry already was! A real  WONDERFULLY PENNED ,MY FRIEND!  Cher Poetry is: |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah Sy...see why we love you? You paint rain...and scoosh...you shove pain... it was said above, you just keep getting better, and Sir? This was one of your BEST! [I should know. I've been reading you for a LONG time...  ] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wonderful poem and replies! I enjoyed all! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cher, That deserves at least a Sunshine, You light my days and sometimes my nights. passing shadows, As I enjoy your replies |
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