Open Poetry #25 |
A Matter of Time |
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A Matter of Time If you were to inquire what happened to us two I would say I tired of begging for time with you. For if I have to beg for a kiss the quality is gone and the value is missed. Why would you make me beg for your time? All my time was yours but your time was not mine. JamesLee February17 2003 |
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© Copyright 2003 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
hey james.. a suggestion? read this to yourself with the last line changed to "but you're not mine." and tell me what you think about the flow as well as the meaning..does it change it too much? |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I really like this. I know how this feels. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Thank you Cpat and the loner for responding... Cpat the flow sounds so much better but it would change the meaning for me...this is a sensitive situation for me...James |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
understand James... not trying to put my nose in and know how it is when the writing means something more than just the art.. sorry if I was out of line. |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Yes, one does get tired of feeling like they have to beg for affection, or even just to get noticed at all. How true your words are here... Accept these small gifts from my gypsy soul, and let the magik happen! ~~S~~ |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
liked this |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sigh |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
JamesMichael- Very much Enjoyed ARCTIC WIND |
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