Runaways idle at the tracks -- written with brian sites, wranx and serenity blaze

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bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2003-02-28 12:27 PM

Snow and trains horizon rise,
two breaths break the tracks.
Trees claw up like hands of earth.
Flowers drip through open palms.
Quiet sky expecting light,
cold spring's infant squeal.

Focus, child, breath's escape.
Stiff stretchings of woody spines.
Bones of trees to hold the sun
flutterdying in the boughs.
Reaching roundless toward the crown,
sturdy oak and flaring ash.
Catching vapors in their branches.
Wisps of dawn at smoke.

Stuttersighing colors blind
the dead and greying winter hues.
Rapids, whiteforked flecks of clouds
cast the light in loam.
These two bind the trees in flay
ribboned like the pole of May.
Holding close like stones to bones.
The shading light like bark on skin.

As the sun does rise again.
As the train journeys away.
As the knife hews promises
in a tree decayed.
Stubborn knot then breaks the haft,
blade in fragments over ties.
They watch the blade but do not speak,
for the sun has reached its peak.

The following poem can be found in a closer-to-the-original version in serenity blaze's and wranx's different posts of "minutes of the meeting." I only contributed one verse to that particular poem, and didn't really feel I deserved a mention. This was fun to re-think and -write.

I know it's over.
The Smiths

[This message has been edited by bsquirrel (02-28-2003 12:30 PM).]

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

1 posted 2003-02-28 12:46 PM

Well Squirrel dude? It's great to see how you made this your own.

The way everyones' words/phrases fed your singular voice.

Sheesh!

Ed

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

2 posted 2003-02-28 12:55 PM

Yes I like this a lot. Yet another wonderful work by all of you.

Cold hands means a warm heart

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-02-28 12:58 PM

you guys need to get together more! I love this!

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

4 posted 2003-02-28 02:14 PM

This accentuates the 'poet's eye' theory..we may all see the same picture but how we interpret it is another thing. I like your view!

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

5 posted 2003-02-28 02:34 PM

Very nice collaboration

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

6 posted 2003-02-28 02:49 PM

Oooo yes, I liked how the sun reached it's peak in the end.

Loved your take Mikey~

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (02-28-2003 02:56 PM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

7 posted 2003-02-28 08:35 PM

smiling...Ed and I were discussing how we couldn't wait for you and bri to reveal yalse (my new woid) view of our words...YES...OUR words.

I love this. and love YOU, m'friend.

You are the refresh button on my mental pc.

grin

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

8 posted 2003-02-28 08:40 PM

(big hugggssssssss) Yay! I love this version too, dearest friends, and yes, all 4 of you deserve applause for your accomplishments! (sigh) This is excellent, sweet friend, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet friends, thank you al for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon all four of you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

[This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (02-28-2003 08:41 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

9 posted 2003-02-28 10:28 PM

christ you guys rule

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