Open Poetry #25 |
Sadie's Song (Inspired by Robert Smith) |
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Angel lips hide devil tongue ancient eyes of one so young Threads the needle through the vein Sadie's fallen down again Empty stares into the sky she wants to know the reasons why Clouds have chased the blue away and left her in a blanket grey Cry Cry Cry When there's nothing left to say or do Sigh Sigh Sigh until the hiding sun finds its way thru Mother never told poor Sadie there'd be days like these Days that tear a soul away and bring her to her knees Father never did say much of anything at all Never noticed daddy's angel clip her wings and fall Cry Cry Cry When there's nothing left to say or do Sigh Sigh Sigh until the hiding sun find its way thru ___________________________________________________ I've had the Cure's In Between Days in my head for days since hearing it and this came out of it. I'm not sure I even like it I just figured I'd post to keep me from erasing it all together.. [This message has been edited by Aenimal (02-26-2003 10:33 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved | |||
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I really liked this a lot. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
So many questions without answers. Lifes a beautiful beach ain't it? I liked the way you wrote this Raph! |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
thanks loner Blues you said beach? Cause i would argue it's a similar sounding word thanks for the read |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
I liked this..... Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Andre Brink |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
I like the rhythm and words. great write. Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Hey, Raph I don't know why you didn't like this one. I think it's one of your best. I enjoyed reading it... "Love makes the world go around" |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
I'm almost afraid to reply, I guess maybe I should start your fan club. Jason [This message has been edited by Jason Lyle (03-04-2003 08:01 PM).] |
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carol Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624Florida USA |
Raph,This poem is really nice Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I think it has potential, Ralph |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Well I enjoyed it! the Wind is invisible. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Justbleu thanks, always nice to see a piece which i thought tanked resurface lol Thanks ALyssa glad you do Ethel you know me, I like the darker ones but sweet of yu to say Jason your replies are too much thanks I really appreciate them Carol so are you thanks for the response Thanks deer nice to see you back in the swing of things too! Thanks Wind! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Raph - Im listening to it now - in between days - story of my life - I do understand - and if you would have erased this I would have tanned your hide - its amazing - as always - " . . . Never noticed daddy's angel clip her wings and fall . . " I started that Father Forgive Me one like that " No one ever told me . . . " Excellent - xxoo |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Raph, I am very glad you didn't erase! I loved this. Susan |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks Sue and Susan..my we have alot of Sues on this board |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
this is the closest I can get to jaw dropping to the floor..errr..I'm seriously not good at this comment thing but I really did like this..I think I'm fast becoming a fan *shrugs* just something about the way you structure your thoughts..loved it... If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You have a perspective that few have. I enjoy reading you Raph! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Hated this poem the first time through -- then said "Wait a min, Rat, this is Aenimal and he don't make no junk..." Read a second time with BOTH eyes, and sure enough it got to me like your stuff always does....(makes mental note -- when you read a serious poet, read seriously -- this is NOT a greeting card).... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Ceinwyn very sweet of you to say thanks thanks Sharon appreciate it hope to see you soon Ratleader I'm still not sure i like it to tell you the truth, i hate rhyme personally just came to me.. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
I still love this one.... "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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