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Open Poetry #25
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Where Babies Lay
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Where Babies Lay |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion 
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Where Babies Lay The sky was wet and properly gray, gray enough to deepen emerald lawns, sweeping lawns, rolling up to meet cypress, weeping cypress bent to touch marble, icy marble etched in words, words too few to speak in memories, memories laced in frayed hopes, hopes that will never be. At a graveside on the grass nearby, on the grass another family picnicked, picnicked on a blanket in the rain, in the rain where they set free seven balloons, one balloon for each year. We paused to watch, and wept, wept as blue balloons disappeared, disappearing into clouds; and we looked down, down at Jeffrey’s small stone, a stone planted where babies lay. Where babies lay, the view is grand, a grand view of inlets, cypress, cypress and the bay, the bay, that day, was suitably gray. © 2003 Core [This message has been edited by Corinne (02-27-2003 04:35 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Corinne - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Corinne, now I'm flooding in tears because my heart cries out to those who die too young and their mothers and families grieving their losses and what they think! (sad sigh) This is so very sadly written, sweet friend, God Bless You, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Corinne, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
*A sad sigh* Ed |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
loved this especially the form where each line blended into the next with the repetition [This message has been edited by Aenimal (02-26-2003 08:27 PM).] |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you kindly, Noah, Ed and Aenimal! Core |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Corrine, even though this is sad, it's still beautiful with very touching thoughts. Heart Hugs...  Ethel |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Ohmygosh! So beautiful yet so touching. How terribly sad. ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
This is so sad. But it is beautifully written. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Oh my. This breaks my heart. Beautiful Corinne. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Corinne, Oh, dear. Imagery very good, as is the heartache. Sad sighs. Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Corinne~ Such a heartbreaking write, yet so beautifully penned. Hugs to you, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
from properly to suitably gray, you paint such a sad picture, in the most touching way... Regards, sudhri |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sad...very touching |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Well penned, m'friend... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
The sky was wet and properly gray, gray enough to deepen emerald lawns, sweeping lawns, rolling up to meet cypress, weeping cypress bent to touch marble, icy marble etched in words, words too few to speak in memories, memories laced in frayed hopes, hopes that will never be. the links...always the links..that start the thought tumbling.... sad..but well written.. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cor, Sad I would not ask for more, but do adore how it was said.  |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you, everyone! Corinne |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Such soft words that hit so hard. Seven balloons, one for each day of the week and for each year. Wow... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Corinne...Beautiful and tear-touching.  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Martie, said my exact words...beautiful and touching. M [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (02-27-2003 05:56 PM).] |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Well, I doubt there is a dry eye among the readers of this incredibly fine "lamentive" piece of writing...Hauntingly beautiful. Warm hugs, Linda |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Corinne, I must say this is a powerfully important piece. It seems to capture the continuiety of life so well to me. As each line leads into another so like life from beginning to end truelly connected. Although sad, so very well written. Great choice for the book. Park |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you very much! Corinne |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This really touched me deeply. enjoyed the format. you have my vote. Maree |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
A lovely, sweet poem. Joyce [This message has been edited by Joyce Johnson (03-04-2003 08:15 PM).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Corrine...this is really an incrediable write, you do know that don't you. The format...fantastic, the story it tells...tragically beautiful and sad, the whole thing put together...timeless! gets my vote |
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Sunkissed Senior Member
since 2002-12-03
Posts 610 |
Corrine, I tried not to read this poem because the title told me what it might be about. However, it was beautifully written and I'm glad that I had a chance to read. Sunkissed."I have to hurry past the moon...to Jupiter..." [This message has been edited by Sunkissed (03-05-2003 09:52 AM).] |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Superb writing, Corinne... very touching and beautiful. |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
I didnt think I would like this do to the fact of the title, but it was actually a very good poem.  Read ^ there, because you are reading the wrong part! |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Wow, Cor hon, you reached to the depths and touched with this one. How very well done, one of your best. But may the sun always touch your face with smiles...very gentle smile |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Dark Angel, Joyce, Ruth, Suthern Kisses, Connel - thank you all for your kind responses! This was a toughie to pen. Logan, hon, how are you? Thank you! The friend I wrote this for (she lost her son 10 years ago) still has not been able to bring herself to read it. Told she never has to read it. Hope the spring winds are warm where you are! Cor |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Exquisite in its agony, with the power and the tumbling of the repeated words giving it a cadence of its very own. This is beautiful, so so beautiful. Gets my vote. (ice runs off to find the box of kleenex) |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
How appropriate for the rain and the cypress. This is one of the saddest poems I've ever seen written. Nan (Pilgrim variety) [This message has been edited by Pilgrimage (03-12-2003 12:00 AM).] |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you, icequeen and Nan! Core |
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