»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #25
»
I Am...
| Open Poetry #25 |
|
I Am... |
|
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space 
|
I am rusted steel and weathered stone I am scorched earth and buried bone I am tainted soil and poisoned sea I am barren womb and withered tree I am sun eclipsed and flesh decayed I am flesh bruised and soul frayed I am child lost, no longer wild or free I am sadly human, more so than I wish to be [This message has been edited by Aenimal (02-22-2003 10:47 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
This is so sad. But I liked it Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I certainly can appreciate how well written this was, but it would be very disconcerting to me if the denegrating, self-deprecating and woeful words reflect your truths--as you may see them! This was a superbly penned poem that certainly stirred up some emotion in this reader. ~ May love and Light breathe peace and wellness into your being Warm hugs, EA |
||
|
EagleScorpion Senior Member
since 2000-03-08
Posts 1644Here, Now, Forever |
ahhhhhhhnnnnnnnnggggggggghieesssssss... sad humaness..... AGH! i am plagued with being human!! ungdrid |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
wow this one went over really well lol..sigh thanks loner 23 thanks linda and don't be too disconcerted i'm not always such a dark @#$% Eagle i'm sorry you suffer the same affliction |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
the last two lines just set the whole thing off...perfect! |
||
|
abbe Member
since 2003-01-20
Posts 131michigan, usa |
extremely well said expresses so well our appraisal of our flawed human selves. |
||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I really enjoyed this, the feel of it...very cool...  |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Dixie at first i thought th last two lines were too heavy and stopped the flow and then i realized i liked the way it felt, it grinds the poem to a halt and drives it home thank you abbe Susan thanks for stopping by |
||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
aren't we all?.. aren't we all.. nicely done...it flows well and says a great deal... our own introspection often finds us wisshing we were less human and more something else... god perhaps... |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
No wouldn't want to be a god, too much pressure besides, I'd probably have scrapped the entire thing at the whole apple ordeal.Thanks for the reply cpat appreciate it [This message has been edited by Aenimal (02-24-2003 08:19 PM).] |
||
|
Goldboat Member
since 2003-02-17
Posts 66 |
Aenimal: I have translated the poem into Chinese here. If you agree, I will post it to some web sites in Chinese, such as: http://www.toppoem.com/list.asp?boardid=15 http://www.likk.com/cgi-bin/forums.cgi?forum=34 http://www.poemlife.com.cn/forum/list.jsp?forumID=6 http://www.liufangdi.com/index_2.asp http://www2.bbsland.com/cgi-bin/tea.cgi Thank you for your good poem. ÎÒÊÇ¡ ÎÒÊÇÉúÐâµÄ¸ÖÌú ·ç»¯µÄʯ ÎÒÊÇÉÕ½¹µÄ´óµØ ±»ÂñµÄ¹Ç ÎÒÊDZ»ÎÛȾµÄÍÁ Öж¾µÄº£ ÎÒÊDz»ÔеÄ×Ó¹¬ ¿ÝήµÄÊ÷ ÎÒÊDZ»Ê´µÄÌ«Ñô ÈâÌ帯Àà ÎÒÊÇײÉ˵ÄÇûÌå Áé»êÄ¥Ëð ÎÒÊÇÃÔʧµÄº¢×Ó£¬²»ÔÙ×ÔÓɷŵ´ ÎÒÊDZ¯°§µÄÈË£¬³¬¹ýÎÒÏëÊǵÄÈË |
||
|
Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
You already know I like this, and my published friend wants to print it, on her website.Of course its up to you. Jason |
||
|
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Goldboat please ask first in the future, and please include my name and copyright with the poem Jason no problem as long as she carries the copyright and name, send me the site too i'd like to see her work vandana glad you did |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Raphael, please don't get so hard on yourself, dearest friend, know we all love you so much and that we are all forever young and am forever breathing! (sigh) This is heartfelt, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Raphael, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Raph, I understand..... Heart Hugs, Ethel |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks Noah nice of you to say Ethel i appreciate that you do and I'm sorry that you've had to feel it too |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I am woman you are man thinking womb and thinking, sand... Good write, Raph.... |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
My mood at the moment reads sinking sands, grin thanks for the reply |
||
|
Goldboat Member
since 2003-02-17
Posts 66 |
I will including your name and copyright with the poem. |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"I am tainted soil and poisoned sea" OK, so now you made me appreciate poison. Hope you're proud of yourself! LOL.  hello poetic pal |
||
|
gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
I am sadly human, more so than I wish to be this poem, for me links to the other poem,i just replied to, Poem. poem poem poem, i cant say what i'm trying to , cos i've said poem too many times in my head and its freaking me out, maybe i'll try again later. he he. thought provoking hard hitting stuff m friend. lots of love, gemma xxxxxxxxx |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
thanks goldboat Kacy very kind, and what can i say have a gift for the macabre gemma they all link in a way, in the end it's all a lovely portrait of me isn't it? lots of love back you're are on fire lately |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
just had to read this again |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Dixie isn't that a form of torture? |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Dixie - glad you brough this up so I can see this once again - loved the first time - Raph - "Wild Child" - is amazing writing here - as always . . .xxoo |
||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I so appreciate how you write, and how each time I read it's always wonderful....wirh each piece we see just a little more.... L~ I close my eyes and there in the shadows I see your light |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Almost stygian... (and that's my favorite word). -MVS You CAN make a difference: |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Raphael, I seem to enjoy pain...and your writings just touch me where it hurts. Torture? Nah. Relation? Yeah. [This message has been edited by passing shadows (03-30-2003 03:02 PM).] |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks Sue Littlewing hugs Thank Lauren sometimes I wonder if i reveal too much and scare the crap out of the natives Thanks Mark. is that to say this poem is dark or infernal? lol Had to look it up to be honest lol Thanks Dixie nice to know there's people who know this side of things |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
