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Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2003-04-07 08:14 PM

Freeway Desperado

it started rolling slow
it’s not slow now
somewhere in
between the quiet
cul de sac and a K
rail out
there on
the 605 all
colors
turned to
green and
phone
poles reeled
like launches in a
pastel haze and
redgreen lights read GO
and wouldn’t slow
him nor
the flashes
from oncoming
cars the helicopters cops
all press him wailing
praise of speed
he can’t
steer clean anymore
can't orient the
signs roar past too
fast to
read and every
exit tries to
suck him off into
oblivion still he
rolls and wonders how
he got
here whipping the
wheel through random
turns and ripping
down the
freeway
praying for a spike strip

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (04-07-2003 08:42 PM).]

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2003-04-07 08:32 PM

Ed...You did good getting into the mind of this crazy..and the final wish for someone to just stop him. Can see it as you wrote it all fast forward with fear.

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

2 posted 2003-04-07 10:15 PM

Very intense and deeply felt.
Great writing.
Eric

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

3 posted 2003-04-08 12:05 PM

this had an almost "running" theme....and fast at that....

Lauren~

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine

I will remember you

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

4 posted 2003-04-08 01:35 PM

very good....on the surface its a dark write, but it can be applied to any mistake that we make, against all good advise, we still put the pedal to the metal...deep inside wishing that someone would stop us...
really enjoyed this, very deep and thought-full

[This message has been edited by jellybeans (04-08-2003 01:36 PM).]

Brad Majors

Member Elite

since 2001-04-03

Posts 2647
Georgia

5 posted 2003-04-08 02:22 PM

I like how you built this piece

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-04-08 02:50 PM

Ed, though this is an intense write, it's written very, very well. It made the reader feel as if they had to read really fast to stay up with the words. Very good, friend.

Hugs,
Ethel

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (04-08-2003 02:52 PM).]

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