~*~

If Superman were to lose his cape,
No longer could he fly,
Nor could he leap tall buildings,
Or jump a mile high.
You'd never see him on a ledge,
Or on a window sill,
Heights would make him queasy,
And soon he'd be quite ill!

If this mighty, super being,
Were a bird or aeroplane,
It'd matter not, if he'd lost his cape,
For he'd fly just the same!
People would not know 'twas him,
When they looked up in the sky,
For they'd see the blur of flapping wings,
Or a contrail way up high!

If Venus were his place of birth,
Not Krypton as we think,
He sure would look lovely
In the pretty color pink!
Kryptonite would pose no threat
To this Venusian big cheese,
But the sweet scent of roses
Would bring him to his knees!

If this brawny man of steel,
Lost his suit of red and blue,
He'd also lose his super strength
And be like me and you!
No longer could he boldly stop,
A locomotive in its tracks,
And the sight of speeding bullet,
Would cause a heart attack!

If Superman were a portly gent,
He'd fit not any booth,
He couldn't change his underpants
And that would be uncouth!
The extra pounds he'd carry,
Would eventually wear him down,
And he wouldn't have the energy
To get up off the ground!

If this cosmic super hero
Lost his super x-ray sight,
He couldn't see the bad guys
As they sneaked around at night!
The crime rate would start rising,
We'd be safe never more,
Our streets would all be empty,
As we hid behind locked doors!

If the guy in blue were bearded,
He'd bog down while in the air,
'Cause birds and bugs would catch in,
His flowing facial hair!
It wouldn't take very long
Before he'd start to cry,
Because of his embarassment
As he fell down from the sky!

If Lois Lane had known of
Her true love's double life,
That reporter Kent was Superman,
She would have been his wife!
She would have borne a daughter
Who'd fight crime around the world,
And everyone would love her
'Cause she'd be a Super Girl!

If Superboy had met his doom,
When he was just a lad,
There would have been no Superman
To protect the good from bad.
If this champion of champions
Had never lived at all,
Crime and evil would prevail
And our nations all would fall!

If the Daily Planet's readers,
Had known that Kent was Superman,
Circulation would have tripled
To meet the great demand!
Jimmy Olsen would have gloated,
He'd been right, not ever wrong,
That superman and his gentle friend,
Were the same man all along!

If Superman's arch-rival
~ Lex Luther was his name,
Had defeated the super hero,
He would have played HIS game!
The two would then join forces,
And for evil they would fight,
To stamp out all the justice,
And wrong all that was right!

~*~