Open Poetry #25 |
a love poem |
machiner Member
since 2003-03-13
Posts 67MA, US |
this short collection of words is based on actual events one evening in 1995. It's a poem. It's a love poem. walking. the day was fine. bright & clean smelling, and we were walking. you reached around my waist and pulled me close so I could smell your hair. it smelled like the day. off to the left a car horn and somewhere a child laughed with all the abandon of love. the day was fine, crisp and free! I wanted myself back-so I pulled away and let our hands continue our embrace. you-watching a bird take flight--squeezed my hand---and I--watching clouds retell someone's memory--felt my hand being squeezed. the day was fine when the car approached... tires spinning as fast as the steering wheel was gripped hard. veins bulging hearts racing voices shouting clips loaded...each bullet a life. packed as tightly as your hand squeezed when one found your heart. we were just walking...but now you were falling. you were no longer next to me when I looked, you were falling. your eyes were aplolgizing to me for our stolen future. and now we are stopped on this fine day tires squealing tears flowing sobs choking death finding the pavement, smacking as you hit... turning everything black. your hand won't squeeze back; and I'm falling to die with you but I'm not allowed. 10/31/95 that one still gives me the creeps ( I haven't read it in years, and I'm a bit weepy) the scene actually happened sans the death and drive-by. i was walking with my girlfriend after we watched the news. i fantasized the whole thing...morbid, I know...but that's how I write poetry that smacks you in the face. I hope someone likes it for what it is. |
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© Copyright 2003 machiner - All Rights Reserved | |||
j0n4th4n Member
since 2003-03-11
Posts 94 |
hmmm.. im not sure about your methods, but the actual poetry has flair. |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
It may not have happpened to you, but it happened to someone, somewhere, and it's affecting. I see no reason why a poet has to live every story he tells. He lives it in his mind when he writes it. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Gripping! --and a fertile imagination is a writer's best friend! Peace & Light, Earth Angel |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big huggggsssssss) My heart goes out to you, dearest friend, I could envision the whole head-on collision reading this and can understand how horrifying it can feel as this had me at the edge of my seat! (sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Very intense poem you have penned here. Dawn |
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machiner Member
since 2003-03-13
Posts 67MA, US |
Thank you for reading my poetry, and offering up yours. Parenthood and Finality if death comes for me I will not go incomplete. if death comes for me I will not go incomplete. God, pay death trying to steal -- losing, to reel uncertain. Yours is my worry, remaining, leashed sanguine to ignorance. I will fight for you. SPROUT! lease and labor in absence of your champion. Death found completeness and begged its consideration. machiner |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
machiner: this was too close to home - see this quite a lot here - not morbid - comes from your soul - let it speak . . . I'm falling to die with you but I'm not allowed this line amazing xxoo |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
As others have commented before me... you've exhibited an empathy here, cataloging events that have touched other lives... and done it well. A poet doesn't have to live their every word... an imagination's a good thing! *S* Welcome to Passions! *S* |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Can only echo what Earth Angel and Suthern have said - a poet's writings stem mostly [for some of us] from imagination... others have lived just this... you pictured it all... perfectly. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy your read |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
It's allright if your imagination writes...James |
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