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Open Poetry #25
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The Last Californian Night
| Open Poetry #25 |
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The Last Californian Night |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now 
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Written, miserably, in a dimly lighted, overcrowded airport terminal. THE LAST CALIFORNIAN NIGHT Departure. Too hot in the shirt that pawed you all, while air too cold steals the rose from my cheeks; a rose like the one left scattered in front of a scrawled-upon mirror. Departure. The ache of my body, so broken by your touch and thrust. Oh, believe, love, I have never known such beautiful pain. Departure. As tears are drowned back by strong voices in my ears, your eyes fill my mind. A wild flash. Oh, devious love. A soft gaze. Oh, piece of my soul. And will I ever hear the tortured strains of a musical suicide without feeling your hand and the California wind through a rolled down window? You know you're right, so just sit and drink our memories. And will I ever look at a mussed, messed bed with sheets on the floor and pillows askew without wondering where the warm and cold familiar body lies? Without me, love, as you should never be. Departure. No lights are bright enough to grace these words. No tears will fall hard enough to fill this empty space. My need for you, I feel, borders on insanity. A soft brush of lips, wet coax of tongue. A sure touch gone wild so quickly. All the scars wearing smooth under your hand. Now I close my eyes, and know that still... I am yours. Always. I am yours. remember the sound that could wake the dead but nobody woke up at all rs |
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| © Copyright 2003 LL Hager - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Departure. The ache of my body, so broken by your touch and thrust. Oh, believe, love, I have never known such beautiful pain. =============================== And will I ever hear the tortured strains of a musical suicide without feeling your hand and the California wind through a rolled down window? You know you're right, so just sit and drink our memories. And will I ever look at a mussed, messed bed with sheets on the floor and pillows askew without wondering where the warm and cold familiar body lies? Without me, love, as you should never be. Departure. No lights are bright enough to grace these words. No tears will fall hard enough to fill this empty space. My need for you, I feel, borders on insanity. A soft brush of lips, wet coax of tongue. A sure touch gone wild so quickly. All the scars wearing smooth under your hand. ================================ OH DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am breathless ... knowing who this was wrote for only made the depth of expression more impactuous... but had I not known ...the poem still would have knocked me out. VERY VERY cool write Lori..... one of you two has just gotta move!! I'll help ya pack!  "Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky ... We fell them down to turn them into paper that we may record our emptiness." K.Gibran [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (02-20-2003 10:27 PM).] |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'And will I ever hear the tortured strains of a musical suicide without feeling your hand and the California wind through a rolled down window? You know you're right, so just sit and drink our memories. And will I ever look at a mussed, messed bed with sheets on the floor and pillows askew without wondering where the warm and cold familiar body lies? Without me, love, as you should never be.' Wow! I could even see you, sitting in the airport writing. Very inspired...love. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"Departure. No lights are bright enough to grace these words. No tears will fall hard enough to fill this empty space. My need for you, I feel, borders on insanity. A soft brush of lips, wet coax of tongue. A sure touch gone wild so quickly. All the scars wearing smooth under your hand. Now I close my eyes, and know that still... I am yours. Always. I am yours."  (big hugggsssssssss) Oh Lori, you know what they say...  I know with all my heart soon you and your love will finally be together as with this kind of love it can close any distance! (sigh) I send angel hugs of comfort your way, sweet friend, this special time will come, I know it deep down, God Bless You, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lori, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
AH Lori...this just aches with love. I truly hope the two of you had a great visit. Sounds as though you did.  ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
This was sad yet beautiful. it gets my vote. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
*kiss* |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
can you hear it? Just like heaven.. |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Truth to be told, I can always hear Just Like Heaven. Thank you, everyone. This poem sorta tore itself out of me. No wonder. remember the sound |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
needed to read this again... still knocks the wind out of me. "Trees are poems that the earth writes upon the sky ... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
A brilliant work.... Thanks for sharing and submitting... hoping it makes it to the book... regards, sudhir |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
The ache, the passions, so apparent in your words. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I can't even begin to pick a favorite line here....*sigh* every word is outstanding.... not only am I voting, but I have another treasure for my library... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is not a poem it is LIFE and PASSION and LOVE and LONGING...yes all in caps. Someday, there will be no goodbye for the two of you.  |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I'm with JM on this one - I'll help you pack! *sigh* THIS is life - and this NEEDS to be in the book. [This message has been edited by Nicole (02-23-2003 08:55 AM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks for the support, everyone. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
I enjoyed your words and felt your emotion. Well done, Anvrill. *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh the ache.....made me hold my breath. definately voting. Maree |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Your writing here is exceptional... I can feel the passion contrasted with your pain just oozing from your pen as you illustrate by your words the remnants of what appears to be a very romantic engagement of love making. You emphasize the word "Departure" very strongly and that, I think, adds a strong message of missing, memories, and regret to your poem. Again, an exceptional poem that I enjoyed very much. -Bob |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
Very powerful. Dawn |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
It's amazing that sometimes I forget that love does exist..I'm a indescive hopeless romantic..but anywho loved your poem obviously If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Sweet, sensitive, and deadly honest -- a combination that's hard to beat. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
And will I ever look at a mussed, messed bed with sheets on the floor and pillows askew without wondering where the warm and cold familiar body lies? Without me, love, as you should never be. beautiful writing... M |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
gorgeous. it has my vote. -majnu |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
sorry for the double -majnu |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Anvrill, this is very, very beautiful...very real. I know exactly how you feel. When a couple loves each other so deeply, it's pure torture to have to depart. Heart Hugs, Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (03-02-2003 08:41 PM).] |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
amazing! Lauren~ Take me where the tides start |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Wishing you all the California wind you can hold onto...this is achingly beautiful. Those mussed up sheets imagery is great. |
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arthur Senior Member
since 2001-08-14
Posts 678england |
the joy of total surrender the grieve of loss all nicely mixed and served well done arthur |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Ive lost count of how many times I read this now...I wish I had wrote this poem, for the parts of it I have lived and the parts of it you made me feel with every heart on sleeve, gut honest, achingly, beautiful word.. this poem ranks up high on my list of the best poems I've ever read in here. |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Thank you, everyone. So much. I think this has to be the greatest poem I've written. Chalk it up to being so in love but so far away, huh? Again, many thanks. remember the sound |
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GOlDsparklESS Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 428central nj |
mmmhmmm |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
How on earth did I miss this, and although I won't repeat all the lines JM did, I do agree with one thing, someone has to move here and quick! Honest poetry like this only springs from yearning a love so badly you can taste it, and we feel it. Excellent writing, simply exquisite. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I keep trying to save my vote for some opportune time... this, just caves me in... everytime I read, I think "of course she knows" Lori...? You ARE a poet, m'love. yes and yea, I verily vote. sighs and smiles....damn. ouch this stings sweet. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
..."wet coax of tongue"--one of many titilating lines in a very compelling write. Warm hugs, Earth Angel |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
WOW, this one hit me like dejavous...I've been in that same California airport, thinking back on those same sheets and pillows scattered on the motel room floor and crying those same tears. Your words took me back 4 years ago. It Rained in California It rained the day I left California, large, wet drops to mirror the tears in my eyes. I packed my bags carefully, checking out of room #2007, where we spent three wonderful days basking in the glow of our love. You departed the night before, leaving me to spend a restless night in a bed we had shared. My arms suddenly seemed empty without you too fill them. You, my sun, gone leaving me to face the storm alone. The cab driver, that took me to the airport, laughed when he saw the fat drops falling on the windshield. “That’s one thing we don’t have to deal with here, “ he said. His amazement showed as he watched the showers cloud his view, but he didn’t notice the ones that fell from my eyes in rivers. They say, “It never rains in California,” but that day, it poured. --------------------------------------------- California “How was California?” my friends all ask. I smile as I reply, “wonderful!” “What did you see?” A thousand pictures pass before my eyes: each line on your body; the smile on your face; the way you looked as you slept, safe and content in my arms; loosing ourselves in each other; ordering room service so we didn’t have to leave the hotel; and watching the orange sun set on the ocean. “Well?” I simply grin and reply, “Everything.” |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Had to come looking for this--and I'm shaking my head and smiling--THIS from a woman who does not consider poetry her forte'. Grinning wide....and voting. stunning, Lady L. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I had to come back to read this again, just because I'm missing my Love so much right now...this very minute..... Ethel |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I voted again because I wasn't sure if I'd hit the button the first time. Hopefully, Ron won't catch it if I voted twice, (not very likely that he won't, but it was worth a shot.) And I meant to reply to this in another forum-- sigh, I need a vacation from my vacation...  |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Well, Serenity, I think that for just this one poem...I'll consider myself a poet. For all the others, however, I'm not. I swear! I write rants with broken lines, is all. Another round of thank yous to everyone who's voted. Yeesh, ne'er thought I'd ever had a poem with this many replies, let alone when it actually counted. remember the sound |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
This is such a beautiful testament Anvrill - you guys are so utterly lucky = xxoo |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i'm glad the others kept bumping this one to the top so that i didn't miss it..powerful write, this |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I've read this twice now and still it makes me say. .WOW! I am adding this to my library. Maree [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (03-10-2003 03:31 PM).] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
This poem brings comfort, even when things seem up in the air sometimes. Thank you for writing this, baby. *kiss* I love you. I've seen this happen |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
C'mon people, vote, dang ya. Stella was a diver and she was always down. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Just had to come back and say that your writing - and I do mean all of it - inspires me so - even though you do not think of yourself as a poet - every word breathes . . . xxoo Good Luck |
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