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Open Poetry #25
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did you walk in the wet cement or did you walk around?
| Open Poetry #25 |
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did you walk in the wet cement or did you walk around? |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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did you see the warnings before it was too late or just barrel through not caring to look back at your indelible inscriptions? did you trespass over another’s mind-set, more than intent on making your impression? did you see the territory clean and blameless and covet to claim it? or did you see the red flags and guide your footsteps most thoughtfully around? did you walk in the wet cement or did you walk around? your fault found out did you cleanse your feet or do you yet wear the concrete traces? [This message has been edited by jellybeans (03-17-2003 04:18 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I had daughters and they would never have gotten their shoes dirty--at least on purpose! The only thing they ever got messy was their faces! Now, boys on the other hand, just love to get down and mess around! The dirtier the better. I'll bet you found traces of that cement... lol Light write!--and an enjoyable read! Irish hugs, EA |
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Brad Majors 
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
I love the way you word your poetry! |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
did you trespass over another’s mind-set, more than intent on making your impression? did you walk in the wet cement or did you walk around? This is exceptional writing, jellybeans. The metaphor as a whole is striking. Luv luv it! When you think you have heard it all, |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
JB, I'm really enjoying your poetry and am glad that you're here more often...  "Love makes the world go around" |
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Alicethruglass Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368 |
You have a special way with your words. One that I always enjoy *s ~A~ (also nakdthoughts) My husband (ahem...) had his own concrete company so he was always steppin' in it if you know what I mean. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
wonderful write my friend... and some hard questions asked it would seem... as always.. done in beautiful form and with your own unique style that just speaks volumes.. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I followed step five from the Man's Manual...don't take a step until it gets hard!!  Ok, I'm clowning around on you again but you know that the words behind your words are not lost on me...this is no exception  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I love this, lady... It can be read on several levels... literal and metaphorical... whimsy or in-depth... and appreciated on all. Now about that inspiration... *EG* |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
that was great! |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
JB, This is brilliant! Enjoyed greatly on many levels. So clever. Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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zenny Member
since 2002-11-24
Posts 371Belgium |
or did you see the red flags and guide your footsteps most thoughtfully around? did you walk in the wet cement or did you walk around? ___ ... a lovely write Hugs, kelly |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
EA, well I wrote it satirically but was happy after your comment to reread and find a smile….thank you Brad, coming from you that means a lot thank you Chanson, thank you, don’t guess I have seen your name before, nice to meet you gg, my muse gets spurts of energy, glad to see you here as well Alice, love your new name….and thank you for the smile@steppin’ in it *grin* cpat, thank you…yes, I did write it hard, and I knew you would read it as such bal, thank you for the smile…..and the compliment suthern…you shush about the inspiration lol, and thank you for always seeing my work as more than I wrote it…….*smile* KS thank you Pat well, I didn’t even see the levels until you all pointed them out…..glad you enjoyed zenny, thank you so much |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) motivation... always an interesting subject... |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
fascinating look at metaphoric perfection and the words themselves are magnificent. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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j0n4th4n Member
since 2003-03-11
Posts 94 |
excellently written |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I must admit, jellybeans, the layers of this are remarkable...now heaven help me, but I've got to go check my soles/soul... [I swear, you write for me!] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I managed to do both. grin...you may have inspired something in me, and if it comes to fruition, I'll post, and if not? I'll just e mail ya, my sista! wonderful write. |
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waldopepper Member
since 2003-03-18
Posts 157Tennessee, USA |
It was the title that really tagged me onto this piece. Quite a thoughtful message to be learned here. It usually comes down to common courtesy and respect that will keep us from plowing through someone else's intended "plot". And as you cleverly suggest, the proof of our carelessness lies in the cement crusted shoes. Very good words my friend. |
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