My Moonlight Sleeps -- A Villanelle

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Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

0 posted 2003-02-18 12:53 PM

Near me, softly, my Moonlight soundly sleeps.
Her face reflects her love back to my heart.
I long to know the secrets that she keeps.

Her heart does pulse as Midnight softly creeps.
And, as chill night winds around us do start,
Near me, softly, my Moonlight soundly sleeps.

There is a time, where Daylight quickly seeps.
Where to Darkness itself it does impart.
I long to know the secrets that she keeps.

She, the harvest of love that my heart reaps,
A gift that is indeed a work of art.
Near me, softly, my Moonlight soundly sleeps.

Closely, around her head, a star softly peeps.
Before my eyes, its tail begins to dart.
I long to know the secrets that she keeps.

I know now that her heart no longer weeps,
And that my soul from hers will not depart.
Near me, softly, my Moonlight soundly sleeps.
I long to know the secrets that she keeps.

What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

1 posted 2003-02-18 12:55 PM

Beautifully written villanelle! I find this to be one of the most difficult forms to write and you have done it masterfully! Congratulations!

Warm hugs,
EA

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2003-02-18 12:57 PM

Eloquent. Full of light and comet tails.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2003-02-18 01:00 PM

I really wish I could do one of these...
this is really beautiful

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2003-02-18 01:02 PM

Yay! Oh my gosh, this just HAS to be added to Reflections, villanelles are so very difficult to write yet one of the most beautiful poetic forms and you have mastered this with grace and love, kudos to you, yay, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

5 posted 2003-02-18 02:15 PM

I think you mastered this (to me) most difficult form. Beautiful work.
Sandra

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant

since 2001-05-07

Posts 5182
Netherlands

6 posted 2003-02-18 02:17 PM

I like villanelles and yours is beautiful

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Lighthousebob
Member Elite

since 2000-06-14

Posts 4725
California

7 posted 2003-02-18 02:30 PM

Having tried to write a few of these myself, I know how very difficult staying with only two rhyme schemes throughout the whole poem can truly be. I love how your wrapped it all up at the end perfectly. Gets my vote for sure. -Bob

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

8 posted 2003-02-18 04:52 PM

I've always preferred villanelle when it is done to an iambic meter, but lately I've been reading a lot less restricted villanelle and it's starting to grow on me. I tried to read this without my preferred meter in mind and it ended up sounding pretty good.

The rhyme itself is difficult enough to keep, and you've done that, so you deserve credit. Well done.

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

9 posted 2003-02-20 09:16 AM

Most excellent write!!!!

Bridgette

Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

10 posted 2003-02-20 04:28 PM

Whatever JP said, but once I could let go of the meter it read very well.

Great job!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

11 posted 2003-02-22 01:22 AM

softly romantic...and the form is a challenge more than well met my friend...

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

12 posted 2003-02-22 01:30 AM

Moonlight Romeo - I'm not sure if I've read one of yours for the book, but I'm glad to see this one. My vote my friend...

BC

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

13 posted 2003-02-25 06:55 AM

Lovely villanelle
Enjoyed reading it!
Liz

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-11-08

Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

14 posted 2003-02-25 06:55 AM

Lovely villanelle
Enjoyed reading it!
Liz

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

15 posted 2003-02-25 03:31 PM

YES!!!

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

16 posted 2003-02-25 04:09 PM

Excellent piece

Charisma

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

17 posted 2003-02-25 06:41 PM

I love the softness in your words,
more like a comforting hush.
Very nice, Moonlight.

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

SPIRIT
Senior Member

since 2002-12-29

Posts 1745
California Desert

18 posted 2003-02-25 07:13 PM

My vote - this is so nice.

[This message has been edited by SPIRIT (02-25-2003 07:14 PM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

19 posted 2003-02-25 07:38 PM

A very beautiful book submission..

.
Hugs,
Ethel

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

20 posted 2003-02-26 03:23 PM

I love villanells and this is a lovely one. Joyce

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