This Cant Be Life (Repost With Line Breaks)

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GhostWriter_6
Member

since 2001-09-03

Posts 237
??Amityville??

0 posted 2002-02-25 06:13 PM

This Cant Be Life

I was born influenced, told the world was mine,
never take the first offer because it’s never the truest,
At any moment ghost could loose it. The end for us was apparent,
you were my lady, and now were both parents.
The path you took was far from the one we walked together,
now I treat you like a hitchhiker on the highway in bad weather.
I see your face and I say "do I know this lady”,
the face looks familiar, and thinking about it is driving me crazy.
Living in the same city with so much drama and chaos,
day and days pass and I wish from my life I could take a day off.
The realest memories we've made together,
the worst could have been better,
my eyes get so dry from the tears that depart,
the first and last time that I had a broken heart.
Such an ill feeling when you are faced with situation,
you were number one but now you are 2nd, best a consolation.
Seeing you and remembering what things used to be,
now I can’t even try, i've deleted you out of long-term memory.
Was I obsessed for a moment, what happened to come over me,
I kept every note, every letter that you sent to me,
only to learn that you also would become my enemy.
Remember the 2 roses that you gave me a symbol of us,
to show me that our relationship was love and not a fit of lust,
but since you betrayed me, who can I trust,
you were the last human on earth who I gave the trust label,
only to realize the lies you told couldn’t even retain the title stable.
You made it null and void like everyone else around me, never will a true love find me. Maybe its a curse that was placed upon me at birth,
when worst came to worst, I was your co-defender,
we were like bonnie and Clyde a modern day version,
so many things to forget now that I don’t know this person,
reflections of the way life used to be for me,
now its like deja` vu, and dismissed just like a memory.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-02-25 06:20 PM

Yep, makes it easier for a dummy like me to read

I was born influenced, told the world was mine,
never take the first offer because it’s never the truest,
At any moment ghost could loose it. The end for us was apparent,
you were my lady, and now were both parents.

Nice opening lines..sets the stage for what follows...

RosePetal

Member Elite

since 2001-08-26

Posts 2985
South Florida

2 posted 2002-02-25 06:22 PM

I agree! The line breaks make it much better to read and enjoy! your rhyming always impresses me.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2002-02-25 09:09 PM

Now this, young man, is a wonderful re-write...even an old lady like me can read it now!

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

4 posted 2002-02-25 10:06 PM

Sometimes, it’s best left to a memory…though, that’s sometimes tough to realize. A sad write here Ghost. Trust is so important, and so difficult to regain, once lost. You’ve written the whole thing with great depth and feeling.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

GhostWriter_6
Member

since 2001-09-03

Posts 237
??Amityville??

5 posted 2002-02-26 02:05 AM

i am glad that i was able to come back to netpoets and see some of my closest friends like RosePetal.. sometimes it is the feeling of knowing that you people read my poetry is enough to make me feel special.....

glad you liked the repost...

and yes line breaks are better....

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