Earthbound ( a villanelle)

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RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

0 posted 2002-02-25 02:34 PM

Men come to terms with what's gone on before
to oft' tis done mid Winter's waning night
while on a knee unused to being floored

His first Love is the mother he adores
'twas succur she fore he e'en saw a light
men come to terms with what's gone on before

As youth he's smitten and his heart outpours
he begs his lady take him for her knight
while on a knee unused to being floored

Yet seldom doth this Love last evermore
and Adam's apple tastes it's first snakebite
men come to terms with what's gone on before

Too soon this notion, Love, he hath forswore
so likens it a painful lost prizefight
while on a knee unused to being floored

Too late an aging man knocks at death's door
alone, in fear tis God's Love he grasps tight
men come to terms with what's gone on before
while on a knee unused to being floored

"Happy people have no history" - French Proverb

arthur
Senior Member

since 2001-08-14

Posts 678
england

1 posted 2002-02-25 02:37 PM

much to think about here
arthur

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2002-02-25 03:57 PM

Love it Richard! The alternating repetition of the last line in each stanza makes it somewhat lyrical. Very well done!
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~

RosePetal

Member Elite

since 2001-08-26

Posts 2985
South Florida

3 posted 2002-02-25 05:22 PM

Very good work sir! I once attempted a Villanelle but it was just too tough for me to do! Enjoyed

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

4 posted 2002-02-25 05:52 PM

RSWells,
It's been quite some time since I've seen, much less attempted one of these. From what I can remember, you done an excellent job with it. The repetitive lines stand up well in the overall context and flow seamlessly
into it's conclusion. The theme is a strong one and obviously well thought out. There are those who might say your use of archaic
words does not enhance this piece, but I'm not one of them . Again, well done ( I'll leave the nit-picking to others)
Doc

Magicmystery
Senior Member

since 2002-02-13

Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada

5 posted 2002-02-25 06:28 PM

And I'm not gonna nit pick either LOL
I have never seen this type of poem before...
Call me a novice.... I really liked this composition. and I understood it too....
WOW!!! And that one repeating line.. "while on a knee unused to being floored"
The line has power! I enjoyed your style a lot.

Love, Light and Peace,

Sherry

Cherish the good memories past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow.
But above all... be kind to yourself today.

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

6 posted 2002-02-25 06:34 PM

Not easy to do, but you aced it!

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

7 posted 2002-02-25 07:12 PM

BRAVO!!! WOW, this is outstranding, sweet friend, villanelles are by far one of the most difficult poems to write and I'm so proud of you, this is an excellent poem as are all of yours, such wisdom and expression always overflows from your heart! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is wonderful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Richard, thank you for sharing!